Today, my boyfriend are I are staying at his parents' while they are away. While having sex in their bed, the whole bed went crashing to the floor. We have no idea what to do, and we leave tomorrow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, I attempted to have amazing birthday sex with my boyfriend in his dorm room. Everything was going great until we tried switching positions. I hit my head so hard on the bunk above his bed that I gave myself a concussion, and blacked out. Needless to say, the moment was ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
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Top comments
jojimugo 20
Why the **** would you have sex on your parents bed? sick
genuinegoodguy 9
Mend the bed or buy an identical new one. Try not to be quite so stupid in future.
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Comments (14)
jojimugo 20
Why the **** would you have sex on your parents bed? sick
tounces7 28
Some beds are pretty obviously not built for vigorous activity. But you clearly didn't consider that or didn't care, so now you deal with the consequences.
RichardPencil 32
Tell them you chased Goldilocks out of the house after she broke the bed.
genuinegoodguy 9
Mend the bed or buy an identical new one. Try not to be quite so stupid in future.
TxKitten 8
Without more information, I have to say that's pretty disrespectful and you deserve it.
Chazzster 32
Duh, you repair the bed.
fjvitt 14
As I recall: you were just showing your friend around the house and jumped on your parents bed as a joke..and it went crashing to the floor!
AmbrosiaFan 19
You both owe them a new bed frame. And you should stay there until its replaced.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You may think your boyfriend ****** you hard, but karma ****** you both harder. You'd better apologize, and buy them a new bed.
RichardPencil 32
Explain to them that you lowered the bed for them because they are old and decrepit and you want to reduce the severity of their inevitable falls.