Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML
Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML
Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML
Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
At least the cicada didn't get away with your very expensive sunglasses. Sounds like a robbery gone bad.
Marcella1016 32
The beginning of this FML made me picture a hanging skeleton slowly getting sun-bleached. A cool skeleton with shades.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
At least the cicada didn't get away with your very expensive sunglasses. Sounds like a robbery gone bad.
Marcella1016 32
The beginning of this FML made me picture a hanging skeleton slowly getting sun-bleached. A cool skeleton with shades.