Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
Today, I woke up from a dead sleep needing to fart. The second I tried to push it out, I realized it wasn't wasn't fart. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML
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Top comments
devildog562 33
Gas chambered the jury.
homesuckfucker 28
This is just one of those FML's that's hilarious, given you weren't the one in the situation. I hope you didn't draw too much attention to yourself, OP. And, don't worry, I doubt you'll see those people very often outside of court.
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Comments (40)
Enslaved 38
Double duty? I've heard of excuses to get out of jury duty butt you look like you got this down packed!
headofmedusa 15
At least you didn't duty your pants.....I'll show myself out
tony1891 22
please do. make sure the door is shut too.
kittykat1501 31
You are forgiven, but this is your last chance
captainsmegma 12
Juror # 6 calls bullshit on the defense counselor last statement.
jride121 8
So many bad puns. So many down votes.
thisguy22 33
So many bad puns, not enough down votes.
smithv171 17
Too many crappy puns here. Yikes
thebigslim 13
Huh .... I wonder what justice smells like ....
LiveLifeAllDay 11
At least everyone got a good laugh hahah
cutiepie600 8
Must have been very embarrassing . At least it would have been for me .
jbombdighetty 11
sounds like a shitty day.
Miscellanonymous 8
maybe after that you wont have to do any more jury duty!!