Today, I woke up from a dead sleep needing to fart. The second I tried to push it out, I realized it wasn't wasn't fart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I tried to go to bed on time, complete with going to the bathroom and not eating several hours before bed. I dunno why but for some strange reason I was woken up by my own flatulence. Again. I hadn't eaten several hours before bed to prevent this. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, and for the first time in my life, I was unable to trust a fart. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
Never ever trust your body when gas wakes you up in the middle of the night.
Charlie Given 28
waking up with gas is your body's way of warning you there's a shart coming. 😂
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Comments (3)
mike3775 39
Never ever trust your body when gas wakes you up in the middle of the night.
Charlie Given 28
waking up with gas is your body's way of warning you there's a shart coming. 😂
Kathy Kogut 5
You really shit the bed on this one