Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
Today, I woke up from a dead sleep needing to fart. The second I tried to push it out, I realized it wasn't wasn't fart. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML
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Top comments
devildog562 33
Gas chambered the jury.
homesuckfucker 28
This is just one of those FML's that's hilarious, given you weren't the one in the situation. I hope you didn't draw too much attention to yourself, OP. And, don't worry, I doubt you'll see those people very often outside of court.
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Comments (40)
devildog562 33
Gas chambered the jury.
MeanBeagle 22
your inseem as well as the the defendant were busted
Adeptus_Astartes 22
@21 wat
cakefete2 31
That's about the only thing worse than a hung jury.
gatorclay97 28
"And the murderer is-" *Ppwweeeeet*
WoldowJR 25
Sue them--oh wait
ComoEsJuan 24
Make sure you didn't make a jury doodie, OP.
devildog562 33
Esta bien Juan. Great pun.
un0m3 14
That's a stinky situation.
sarah5745 41
Please stop with these bad puns..
cherry_popper69 11
The only thing that stinks was that pun
Sunflower1919 19
Did it smell?
homesuckfucker 28
This is just one of those FML's that's hilarious, given you weren't the one in the situation. I hope you didn't draw too much attention to yourself, OP. And, don't worry, I doubt you'll see those people very often outside of court.
worldclassrager 41
At least you woke up maybe you can have it seem like you were never asleep...it's not likely but with a shot
SarahSehhati 40
Shhhh it's trying to communicate.....
MidnaLink 35
Translation: hopefully nobody noticed you napping, but the chances of that are slim.
FrutLoopDingus 19
Hopefully that means you don't have to serve the rest of your jury duty!
devildog562 33
Would be a whole lot better then being held in contempt.
man_in_black08 28
Your honour, according to section 8 of..*blrlrlrlrlrlrlrl* ...***every one looks at OP*** I could imagine the trial room scene going something like that. Haha.
jerryj 27
That's not what a fart sounds like!
jojimugo 20
What if that fat was Asian or African? Not everyone fats in English
elcee1987 18
If my fat were Asian or African, maybe I'd have less of it. *rimshot
whackman56789 7
What if it was a wet fart?
tigerborn69 18
man, that stinks.
TheGolfGTI 24
Sounds like a different type of duty went on there.