Today, my mother was vaccuming the stairs. Trying to be polite, I climbed over the banister to the floor above, so I wouldn't interrupt her. She looked at me odd and said, "I'm surprised that held your weight." The banister is maple and steel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML
Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, I was helping my Grandfather to sort through tubs and bins after cleaning out his attic, and I had to move a 50lb bin downstairs. That's when the dog thought it would be funny to block the top of the stairs as I was going down. FML
Today, my mom is mad at me because, at her insistence, I got a company to install a stairlift for her due to the pain in her legs, and after buying it and getting it installed, it turns out she’s too obese for it. It can carry me and Dad, but with her it just makes a grinding noise and refuses to move. FML
Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML
Today, I was walking up some stairs, and I told the guy in front of me to be careful, as the handrail was loose and well-worn. I then put my hand on it, and promptly fell backwards down the stairs with a piece of handrail still in my hand. FML
Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mother, during which she told me she wished she’d thrown herself down the stairs the minute she discovered she was pregnant. I told her, “There's the stairs, help yourself!” She called the police and told them I threatened to push her down the stairs. FML
Today, I had to fake fall down the stairs so my mom would stop texting and actually pay attention to what I was saying. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
babydoll86_fml 0
Should have said you were surprised her legs could hold her weight. What a cow.
hk_fml 9
Ouch. O___O Maybe your mom'll learn to be polite off you
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (44)
eeee93757 0
This is called a 'JOKE' say it with me....'J..O..K..E..' I guess the sense of humor doesn't run in the family.
genius_man16 1
lol @ #17 that wins for sure but i agree with #12 & #13 if you are fat, do something about it, and nobody better say "maybe she's happy with her body" because she wouldn't have made this an FML if she was take a run, do some excersise, but posting an FML on a website isn't going to make you skinnier
shantoyamuchluv 0
If you really wanted to be polite, you would have offered vacuum for her, fatass.
omgyourface 0
If you insist on eating too much, at least take the potato chips on the treadmill. =]
thegoodlifeNOT 0
bahahahahahah
sunshyne84_fml 0
I think we can come to the conclusion that mothers are bitches
blargity 0
maybe the person who posted this isn't overweight, but her mom thinks so and everyone is "fat" #9, or maybe #1 didn't feel like using contractions?
podrummer9209 0
Yeah uh... Advice: Don't get bitchy when people comment on your size. Either you're fat, or you're a victim of the anorexia trend. Either way, someone thinks you're too fat. So... If you're fat, either live with it, or diet. Not hard. I'm not exactly a small guy and I don't get on here going OMG MY LIFE SUXORZ every time someone calls me fat. I just insult them twice as bad over a flaw they have *shrug*
Sgt_Schadenfreud 0
Banisters aren't designed to hold a human weight, so you're fat AND insecure.
Woop_Woop 0
i would hope they are ment to hold ppls weight if you fall on one they are ment to stop you falling
hellogoodbye_6 0
well maybe u should exercise more? then she wont say stuff like that