Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, my mum, who always wanted more kids than just me, started crying because I'm not pregnant with her first grandchild yet. I'm 16, and this all started because I got my period and I asked to borrow one of her tampons because I'd ran out of my own. FML
Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML
Today, my mother was guilting my wife and I for freezing embryos as a delay tactic to deny her grandchildren. Fed up, I told her, "Why don't you throw in a 'You'll miss me when I'm dead' to finish this guilt trip?" Now, she's crying and my father wants to murder me. FML
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
Today, I asked my mum why she never had any children after me. She scoffed and asked if I've looked in a mirror lately. FML
Today, my mum asked when she's getting grandkids. I had to tell her that, at 21 years-old, I hadn't even managed to get a boyfriend yet. FML
Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML
Today, my mom was talking about my grandma's approaching death. When she saw I was getting upset, she gave me a weird look and asked me if I was PMSing. FML
Today, my mother bought me some "biodegradable" tissues. Indeed, they melted… in my hand. FML
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Top comments
33Chilidog 6
Well, you could've at least thrown them away or disposed of them.
Nyx_fml 23
I wonder how many billions of grandchildren she wants.
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Comments (154)
brezy123 1
Dude get a trash can! seriously
MermaidAnnariea 10
you know, at first i hit fyl... but really, ydi for not tossing the dirty tissues in the trash. that's pretty gross. it doesn't take much effort. so you deserved it.
ShadowWolfoxImp 18
moms are strange like that. you should just nervously laugh it off. it could have been worse...
JessBassett 24
well next time pick up after yourself OP! Leaving those tissues everywhere for your mom to pick up is nasty!
LissaMccracken 23
Well if you don't want her to say anything, clean up after yourself.
piedpiper303 29
Do guys not clean up their tissues after they **********?
superman3212 8
some don't. some do.
Alihb 16
(shrug) I would assume so
LissaMccracken 23
Everyone is different...
pandalover69 26
YDI for not picking up you're own mess! It's not your mom's job to pick up the tissues you just masterbated into.
superman3212 8
don't jerk. off. pay for getting laid if you have too. but seriously man?
brewmasterg 34
Yeah obviously the answer is never ********** (a normal human thing) and instead pay for sex which may or may not lead to STIs- as opposed to just, you know, putting your tissues in a bin.
brewmasterg 34
It is also perfectly normal for people who have sex frequently to also **********, you know.
superman3212 8
don't get on me. do you **********? grow up.
brewmasterg 34
Is this a serious response? Grow up? I'm a grown woman with a long-term boyfriend and what I do or we do is our business and none of yours. You're 18 years old and think that a valid response to someone masturbating is honestly 'ew gross why don't you just get a hooker?'- this is retarded. Shut up and try commenting again when you have some life experience or maybe when you spend your whole McDonalds paycheck on hookers and have chlamydia and realize that it is not a real idea.
FlyingPie 17
It's unreasonable to think that masturbating is wrong, and I have a hard time believing you don't. I think you're just being a troll.
superman3212 8
your kidding me right? I could give a flying f*** what you and your boyfriend do. nigga masterbating is for pathetic freaks who can't get the real thing. sorry I feel bad for em. I feel bad for you too. I may be a little as* kid but I got a house and a girl. who I can provide for. I stand on my feet I may be a kid but I'm a grown as* man
alishous 8
I hope you're just a troll... if not, I really hope you don't reproduce.
Ray_of_midnight 23
"Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate" Clean up after yourself, you disgusting slob.
GingerNinja 18
if this isnt a joke, i hate you
FlyingPie 17
So, what about all the sperm that remain in a man's body and don't get used at all? By your logic, we should be constantly having sex so as not to waste any sperm?
BrotherPhil 35
You're not a Monty Python fan then, I take it?
gracehi 33
No, 38 is obviously not being serous. He's referencing a song from a Monty Python movie about how Catholics don't use birth control.
horneyhic 15
Totally awesome movie
thatnucca 36
Sir JizALot... Please stop cream-pieing charmin