Today, a classmate accused me of having butt implants because "women can't have a huge ass and pancake tits". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML
Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
Today, my son, who has ASD, told a woman how gigantic her butt was. While trying to remind him that some things are not nice to say, he screamed that her butt is the "giantest butt ever," like it was an accomplishment. FML
Today, I was yet again cat-called while out jogging, with many men calling me "sexy lady" and even commenting on my "birthing hips", all because I chose to wear compression pants. I'm not even a woman, I'm just a guy with a really big butt. FML
Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML
Today, a coworker told me I was "fat shaming" them by discussing weight loss with other coworkers. FML
Today, my classmate overheard me on the phone making an appointment at the women’s health center. The dumb bitch told everyone I was going to the clinic for STD treatment. I was scheduling my biopsy for a lump in my breast. FML
Today, my friend was complaining to me that she's gained 20 pounds and it's all gone to her butt and boobs. Meanwhile, I've also gained 20 pounds, and it's gone straight to my stomach. She looks better than she did before. FML
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Top comments
saxaddict122 14
Yikes. That person was not only an asshole, but made the pancake a dirty thing. What a double fail on his part. Sorry OP
magickitten 26
Plot twist: OP is male.
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Comments (86)
saxaddict122 14
Yikes. That person was not only an asshole, but made the pancake a dirty thing. What a double fail on his part. Sorry OP
UserError94 18
Well if you think about it, pancakes is all stacked up on each other and then things get sticky. Unless you want to get fancy and romantic and start playin around with the strawberries and whip cream. Pancake were already dirty so it seems
ThrottleJockey 36
Great, just great. I'm on a 500 calorie per day diet for forty days and you had to go and write a comment like that about pancakes and strawberries and whatnot. Like I wasn't already jonsing for food and carbs to begin with. :-)
Dale_shackleford 13
Since you said 40 days I'm gonna assume you are doing something for lent, I'll just say that that is really unhealthy and you should put your health above what a church says.
UserError94 18
500 calorie diet?! That's ridiculous ! at max I would say that 800 is as low a calorie diet you should go. That not healthy. If you really want to burn off some fat eat high fibered food like brown rice, chicken or lentils. Those foods burn off calories as you digest them for up to 8 hours. And get your heart rate up and down!
ThrottleJockey 36
It's not for Lent (though I was raised Catholic). This is doctor prescribed and is called the HCG diet. I do it once a year (generally after the holidays or into spring) and it helps me shed the holiday pounds. I don't make testosterone (I have to do weekly injections) so my energy and metabolism is on par with a centurion. The first week of the diet sucks but after that your body adjusts and the weight sheds off.
Youtube_Troll 12
It's funny. My uncle is a doctor who was asked to prescribe the HCG diet for testing. My parents were some of the subjects tested to see if it works. The electric screening numbs the hand though
demideity 13
Sorry, but "shedding the holiday pounds" isn't good. She'd the pounds, keep 'em off and you won't have to suffer through 500 calories. The minimum amount of calories an average person should eat is 1200. Stick to that and the weight should STAY off and, trust me, 1200 is a lot of food.
Sharlock93 12
oh come on, hey compared something awesome to another awesome thing, which are both equally delicious, so I think if you just change a little perspective, it turn into a compliment.
bahreaze 2
I'm wondering what kind of shotty doctor prescribes an unhealthy fad diet
ThrottleJockey 36
Thanks to this doctor I'm the healthiest I've been since high school. In my mid twenties I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and even after sleep studies, blood tests, physical exams, cancer screenings, etc no one could figure it out. I went from bicycling 25 miles a day to getting winded going up stairs and sleeping 12+ hours a day. I lost my appetite and gained 50 lbs. This doctor has been a godsend.
Millionman24 16
what an ass it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside it's what's on the inside that matters
ballsacks33 17
Well, the implants would be inside.... Technically...
Kinglue 17
Well said, especially in with your name
Grisha_fml 18
yes, it's what's inside that matters giggity LOL
science-teacher 15
They're probably just jealous
cutycat136 28
Even if it was a dude that said it?
GuyOnBridge 14
you what it means.
magickitten 26
Plot twist: OP is male.
smxiricky 23
WHAT plot twist? the classmate said *woman* can't have a big ass and pancake ****...so that means the OP is a female. ....
Mauskau 36
I went to school with a guy who had a huge ass but small everything else, people weren't very nice about it. But I think OP is female. I've seen a lot of women with a small chest but big bum, better than a big chest and tiny bum imo.
LyricaSilvan 30
51, I could be wrong here, but I think they MAY have been trying to make some kind of joke. Then again, maybe they're just not that sharp.
zevapup123 14
That actually made me laugh lol
magickitten 26
#51 & #63 - why so serious? It was a joke....!
kizzlynn 9
I feel ya. I too, am part of the small ****, all ass, club.
AcieMcG 21
Here, we can equal each other out lol the struggle to get button downs is real :(
Allornone 35
I am also bootylicious, while still big booby-lacking. Sisters, unite! We shall have no shame, cherishing both our lucious curves and our tiny molehill mounds!
Serenity77 11
So am I!! I feel you guys, but it's okay. We don't need double D's to feel confident!
Sharlock93 12
some people out there are pure ass-people. so never feel down.
mfmylifesrsly 30
I've typically noticed many girls either have one or the other. I have big **** but no ass lol
thenetflox 4
And then you're like me and have no **** and no ass. FML.
LyricaSilvan 30
I'm entirely average in both cases. But you know what? It doesn't matter. We're all sexy in one way or another. Just gotta work it. It's all about confidence.
Setareh23 34
Following that logic, how do they know you didn't just get a breast reduction? Seriously though, that person is either stupid, jealous, or just a general douche. Possibly all three. Ignore 'em OP, and just keep rocking that body! :)
jonjonguapito 15
While I do not agree with your classmate, I think we need proof then we decide if you indeed have the said assets.
HotFrosty 14
And then he will wonder why he gets the crap slapped out of him. Stupid should be painful.
Tomryan279 10
Yes I have ass implants. I stole your brain. That why you only ask stupid questions
gobiteme2 34
If you stole his brain he wouldn't have asked if you had implants, because they wouldn't show they were so tiny.
ohSNAPyall 27
He sounds like the expert on how to be an ass.