Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I was having an intense erotic dream. It was going great until I thought, "I hope this isn't a dream." This caused me to wake up. This isn't the first time I've cockblocked myself in a dream. FML
Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML
Today, I had my first "hot" dream in a while. In the dream, my husband and I finally got cozy and comfortable, but just as we were about to start our banging, our toddlers interrupted us. So, my kids are cockblocking me even in my dreams. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
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Top comments
Zestus 19
is it even possible to cockblock yourself?
NothernNightmare 18
OCD or not, using a condom is always a good thing.
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Comments (95)
NothernNightmare 18
OCD or not, using a condom is always a good thing.
SenselessPattern 12
Protection is especially important in dreams to prevent dream-herpes. Just be glad the woman in your dream didn't turn into a shark or tree shredder halfway through.
perdix 31
It's always a wise thing, but it's never a good thing.
MoneyStacks 4
I hate condoms.
xlord 27
Protection is also extremely important when being mind ******. Some people have really dirty minds....
charvisioku 22
I agree with 18 here... it's definitely the more sensible thing to do, but god they don't half ruin it... they feel shit.
gmaniac93 7
Haha, well thats a DICK move on your part, thats gotta SUCK.
unknown_user5566 27
33- Then you must love unexpected pregancies and STD's!
mduffy08 8
15 - I remember when I was diagnosed with dream AIDS, then I woke up.
LiveLoveBeatles 19
33- you must get that from your parents, huh?
israelnotjacob 20
I have to say YDI because even though OCD typically isn't by choice, if it's this serious that you can't even enjoy a dam sex dream you're clearly not dealing with it, and that is your fault.
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
94 It's not an OCD. I have OP's problem when writing "erotic literature."
m_2_teh_c 6
55- you are so right! :)
Zestus 19
is it even possible to cockblock yourself?
Feared 9
Definitely. The following can usually do the trick: -Insulting your partner. -Farting -Sticking it in the wrong hole. -Menstration. -Pointing out, that there is a way hotter guy/girl to sleep with. -Reading FML's when you should be paying attention to your partner.
xlord 27
Saying "I love you *insert sisters name*"
MormonPornstar 7
20 - Never met a guy who menstruates...
unknown_user5566 27
49- I think #20 meant that as a self-"****"block for a woman.
Jonaahhhh 12
Yes. Wear one of the hats with the propeller on top. Or use "Swag" and "Yolo".... Surefire **** blocks
trivel64 16
I would totally do a guy with a propellor cap tho
Noxialis 10
#73 - In that case, look me up, eh. I'll spin you right round ;)
lhazz11 23
Well, at least we know you'll use it in real life:)
Feared 9
Or you could just wear one to bed. Problem solved.
Puffytruffles 18
Better than having sexual relations with a rubber duck.
XPetrova 10
Look at it as a warning or a prophecy for the future...
xlord 27
I had a dream where I became batman and king of russia in the same day. Can I look at mine as a prophecy?
Stealthed 8
Dream? That is pretty much vladimir putin's life summed up. I don't think I've ever once seen that guy turn around to look at an awesome explosion behind him. Not once..
SammyS2012 21
Well now you can't become batman because you blew your future secret identity :/
lilhellian 27
Atleast it wasn't a triple nut tap.
lilhellian 27
By the way it's a reference to the guy who hit his nut on the table. He hit them three times.
Schizomaniac 24
It was a noble attempt, bud.
2pepper3 10
Practicing safe habits pays off, kids are expensive...
BeccaHugs 17
Don't be silly, wrap your willy!
2pepper3 10
Don't be a dummy, cum on her tummy!
lilhellian 27
Don't be a fool, wrap your tool!
nikininja 4
Before you get spunky, cover your monkey!
chubbybunny963 7
Don't let your affection give her an infection. Put some protection on that erection!
RedPillSucks 33
@40 put on a wrapper before you tap her.
Stealthed 8
You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong!
andiewithlove 21
No glove? No love!
trivel64 16
Put a jacket on that package!
Bella242 0
Yup! Exactly!^^
JoeRogansBEARD 15
74killed it
bmw791797 2
Dont be a prick, cover your dick!
2pepper3 10
84- It's dead...I'm. Sorry
ardencred 7
You can't go wrong if you shield your dong!
challan 19
That's a good thing OP! Tomorrow night you may have dreamt you were a guest on Maury! You are the dream father!!
geon_olam 17
I think you have to learn the difference between OCD and common sense. Not wanting to have sex without a condom isn't an abnormal disorder- it's very reasonable. The panic attack sucks though.
shannonreneee 11
9, people do self diagnose, but it could genuinely be OCD. I have OCD induced dreams about events in my life I cannot control and obsess over incessantly (it's been diagnosed).
the_illuminated 4
Better safe than sorry.