Today, my girlfriend told me that I think too much during sex. Now the only thing I can think about is how much I'm thinking too much. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Today, my girlfriend was complaining of being stressed, so I mentioned having heard that sex relieves a lot of that build up of stress. She replied, "I think I'd rather stay stressed." FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, after weeks of being addicted to Bejeweled Blitz, I couldn't stop thinking about it while having sex with my girlfriend. FML
Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML
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Top comments
KissablePsycho 0
I hope you're thinking about ******* the shit out of her and not something stupid like laundry or something.
Felendris 0
it happens to all of us... ...just not during sex.
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Comments (78)
KissablePsycho 0
I hope you're thinking about ******* the shit out of her and not something stupid like laundry or something.
Andywalker 0
get some practice with other girls and see how much she thinks when she finds out why you did.
TokioxxHotel 0
eat a sammich while doing it. you'll only think of how good that damn sammich is.
Bizzatch 0
wow the "you fail" comments are almost as old and as played out as the bitch in the kitchen "sammich" or soviet russia comments...
bitcherinn 0
I find them worse than either of those, but they're all getting quite bland. ;/
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
Ya think?
okieraider71 4
Apple does it again! Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $4990 to $6990, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
Xanavi 0
kinda funny, though im sure you copy pasted that
letsgobucks 0
u proved him right
iSayNopeToDope 0
Just let your animal instincts come out, but I don't see how you could think so much, it's what you were born to do. It's quite easy actually.
Squeezeit 0
well, maybe you'll last more than 30 seconds then
perdix 31
"I'm thinking of whether I should think of your best friend, your sister or your mother when we ****. Or, more accurately, recall." That ought to shut her up.