Today, my girlfriend was complaining of being stressed, so I mentioned having heard that sex relieves a lot of that build up of stress. She replied, "I think I'd rather stay stressed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend complained about our recent dry spell. I've been under a lot of stress at work, but I told her some things she could do to help. She decided a better idea was to scream that I don't care about her needs, and that I should never "burden her" with my problems. FML
Today, after realizing just how stressful my week is going to be, I gave my girlfriend a massage, hoping for some stress relieving sex. I rubbed her for 30 minutes, then she said that she didn't feel "connected" with me and went to sleep. Isn't the point of sex to connect? FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to break a recent dry spell brought on my sickness, stress, and a death in the family. She asked me for sex, but I’m too stressed out even to consider it. Looks like the dry spell is extended indefinitely and it’s all my fault. I’m a shitty boyfriend. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, our boss nicely asked if we were stressed. Before I could answer in the affirmative and ask for help, my colleague replied, “Stress is for the weak!” She was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML
Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML
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Top comments
grannygruber 6
Haha! She is probably tired of hearing about all the wonderful things sex is good for. According to my husband blow jobs are a cure all for coughing, sore throats, colds, flu, aches & pains, and the list goes on and on.
moneybagz131 6
U got owned!
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Comments (76)
moneybagz131 6
U got owned!
olpally 33
"stairway to heaven" denied... Fyl op
bighugebrains 2
If thats a fact and ur so stressed maybe u shudnt have denied sex with her. Fyl for turning her down u moron
_Oblivion_ 12
So when your gf is stressed out she is automatically in the mood for sex? No sir, you don't wanna ask that. It makes them feel like all you care about is the sex if she isn't happy.
x_Gainer_x 6
#9 - Learn how to read !!!!
OriginalimoaN 15
That is unless it's the kind of stress that can be relieved, I'm which case sex is very much a good thing.
ProhibitionRose 14
That was pretty harsh of that girlfriend to say, but I know that when I'm stressed sex is the last thing on my mind. So unless OP actually tries to get her in the mood, he deserves it.
WaxyBootz 0
-11 That's because we don't give a **** about their feelings and we only need women for their pussy, cooking, and cleaning.
_Oblivion_ 12
35- Stfu, that really not even funny at all. You are the reason why every guy has the steriotype of a dick.
ThisIsMyReign 4
35 did your stress get pass the point your hand can't relieve it?
boomhauer18 3
Calm down 44 he's more than likely 12 and trying to sound cool. All of us real men know he's wrong.
_Oblivion_ 12
I'm all good, it's just annoying how guys downgrade them like that
omarzrgz 3
Agreed. He should have asked if she wanted a massage or something and work his way toward sex. No game!
Twincest 11
Dump her sorry frigid asss: she'll remain stressed (our sour-puss bitchy) better that way.
FurryPride 9
Sex gets rid of headaches as well.
israelnotjacob 20
I'm amazed that so many people here are actually saying FYL. No he deserved it. She told him she was stressed and the first thing he could think of was he could use it as a way to get laid. He was clearly thinking about himself only. Yes sex relieves stress, but he only said that for his own benefit, not hers. She probably didn't really mean she doesn't like sex. She was just basically telling him that she's not falling for his stupid crap. And yeah I could see possibly giving her a massage or whatever first and then slowly seeing if it leads to sex, but the way he approached it was clearly wrong.
TheMystery13 13
So add the stress of having nowhere to sleep tonight. Either that, or just start banging other women, including her friends. When she finds out, just tell her that you were trying to make her happy, since she likes stress. Then throw her out.
grannygruber 6
Haha! She is probably tired of hearing about all the wonderful things sex is good for. According to my husband blow jobs are a cure all for coughing, sore throats, colds, flu, aches & pains, and the list goes on and on.
enopola 5
Well they do it's science.
Yodaevil 4
It solves world hunger too...
Pentium_4 27
it cures horniness and makes your man happy, shouldn't that be enough motivation?
wow_chick334 2
so true
boydeee01 7
48- You ruined it.
Raori 25
How?
Jhoe899 0
I agree with your husband lol it help with sore throats very well
rdrr 2
And butt sex cures constipation.
WOGBRO 6
39-That is so horny eeeeeeeeew
JegaN_fml 5
LoL
aerogxt 7
I like your style ;)
miz_kamakazi 11
Ouch!
ScarletBloom 14
Maybe she dosent gain any pleasure from having sex with you, but pressure.
Calyx_fml 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Then what's the point of being lover; just to prevent each other from having sex with anyone? That's stupid. If she's not head over heels horny for you then you're free to get it from someone else. You can still love her. You're just not obligated to keep her as your only possible sexual partner if she doesn't want to be.
Redoxx_fml 22
People aren't always in the mood for sex , unless they're nymphos
AmbrosiaWriter 17
The point of being a lover isn't to be on beck and call for sex-time whenever the other calls for it. The point of being a lover is to... uh... love each other maybe? Which includes understanding when the other just isn't in the mood and finding other ways to spend time together.
dumboears 8
42-you're a dick. You're the reason men get a bad reputation. It's not o.k to 'love her and have other sexual partners'. That's called cheating.
downtime 13
67, The initial comment suggested it as a statement encompassing all instances, not just this one time. That was the point of the other persons message. I really doubt they were suggesting that if you don't feel the in the mood one time you should see other people.
maryam8869 7
42 - Stupid
cyK0tek 0
Another FML from a guy complaining that their girl won't have sex with them. Surprise surprise....
cyK0tek 0
Oh c'mon. What was offensive about that?
DrMime 10
What did you say? *tehe*
cyK0tek 0
Nuthin lol. Just pointed out that the subject in this FML is so very *rarely* posted by guys. *kukuku*
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Have a happy eternal dry spell! :)
taco_bender 12
I swear ive heard that somewhere? Do I know you
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
45 We may have crossed paths in the past, but I'm quite sure we never have.
taco_bender 12
Yeah maybe your right. My bad. You look like my old friend jake.
amisenho 11
Taco_bender, you might be thinking of, "Have a Happy Period!"
vanaathiel 13
I feel like that sometimes. My boyfriend will make comments like that and they reek of desperation. Huge turnoff.
PrincessPesa 20
Careful, he might get so "desperate" he'll fall right into another chick's vag. Tell him it bugs you when he asks. Take care of the problem. Satisfy your man and help him to satisfy you! Dismissing his needs isn't a solution.
twinny_sc 13
In my opinion if he's so desperate for sex that he'll "fall into another chick's vag" he's not worth it.
Feared 9
What kind of person gets turned off when someone thinks they are hot enough to have sex with?
MissHayleyJames 7
I agree with 21. If he's so desperate that he has no respect for his woman and he goes and cheats, he deserves a kick in the nuts. Just because your man (or woman) wants sex doesn't mean you just put out for them. You have to both want it. And if any man ( or woman) is willing to have sex with his significant other if they just lay there and don't want to then they're a pig.
PrincessPesa 20
If someone is pissy enough to post about their boyfriend being desperate in a comment on fml I'd hope they'd have spoken to him about how it makes them feel. Throwing around bad attitude and negativity helps no one. Help him be a better man- if not for you then for the next!
downtime 13
29, I think they may have been suggesting ditching her for someone who's actually interested. Not necessarily cheating. Wouldn't blame him really.
monkeywrench1 10
PrincessPesa you are THE woman that understands and has the intelligence. The world needs lot more of you. (No sarcasm!) Have you ever considered cloning? You should. You are my new hero.
DrMime 10
Maybe you should offer her a massage, with your penis... I hear the tip can get as hard as a set of knuckles, and it has a built in timer!
_Oblivion_ 12
automatic moisturizor dispensor?
DrMime 10
Yea but it's not very effective :-/ you never know when it will go off, or if you'll go placid after thinking of your grandmother. Plus it's too cloudy, like a Pearl Jam.
kleopath 11
*Flaccid....
PrincessPesa 20
Sounds like one or both of you could seriously benefit from some kind of seminar. If you haven't had sex with her yet, that was a creepy way to initiate it. If you have, I'd say give the frigid bitch some great oral and stop with the words!
DrMime 10
I think OP would prefer a semenar instead.
jmoreno 4
When ur stressed the last thing you wanna think about is sex. Why don't u try helping her deal with her issues instead of making selfish remarks!
ProhibitionRose 14
Or offer her a back massage, which is an awesome way to unwind when you're stressed and (at least to me) it can be very intimate and romantic.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I don't know. Sex is definitely not the last thing on my mind when I'm stressed. Having good sex really is a great stress reliever..as long as you're not having it with someone that could cause you more stress.
downtime 13
33, Not everyone is the same on that front. So long as she's not stressed constantly and they have a healthy relationship otherwise theres really no issue in not wanting it while in that frame of mind.