Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML
Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML
Today, I decided to start jogging and exercising, so I had a wonderful workout before work. Then I broke my foot at work. Goodbye exercising. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. On my way home, my legs gave out halfway up the stairs to my apartment, and I had to awkwardly sit there until I could crawl the rest of the way up. FML
Today, I did my workout at the gym instead of at home as I usually do, since I'm paranoid about people seeing up my shorts. I told myself to get over it, because it's impossible. After my extensive workout, I realized that there was a hole in the crotch of my shorts. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and go for a run. I broke my ankle. FML
Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML
Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed against the emergency stop button, twice. FML
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Top comments
NitroTonicsFML 4
Run those circles like a boss!
FYLDeep 26
At least you were running instead of doing nothing. That's probably more than a lot of people can say.
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Comments (132)
sasokai 0
Dw no one will judge u...maybe
marinus_fml 20
#1, You should worry, because everyone's going to judge you!
amphetamin3 17
"dw" it's only the Internet. Who cares what a bunch of trolls think anyway? (;
killercole85 0
Haters gonna hate
Littlemiss__LOL 0
25 - don't let your boobs hang out, Hun. too good to be a ****.
Mysanitywins 10
25 - 0 30 - 1 I think we may have a winner.
yoursucklives 36
haha try to explain that to someone who runs in on you
iheartbewbies 0
25, nobody has said it yet so I might as well be the first. Your **** are almost completely out of your shirt.
iheartbewbies 0
Moderated for pointing out that her **** are almost falling out of her shirt? Wow.
BadBoyz90210 0
25 - not to bs creep but all I see of your profile pic is a thumbnail over your boobs… and it's nice that your kind to da new guy?
16rrpass 0
Ur pic is sick!
pexy_fml 16
its okay
marinus_fml 20
Dude to lose weight, do weights not cardio. Doing cardio increases your metabolism ALOT more, and continues to burn calories while you rest. Running around in circles you're not achieving anything, and definitely not losing weight.
Freeze_fml 17
Working out =/= losing weight. Not that jogging is really working out.
marinus_fml 20
Freeze you're right. However, since OP was ashamed to go out in public and felt the need to workout, I can safely assume OP is overweight, and wants to lose weight. In which case jogging in circles isn't going to help.
borkchop1992 15
two is right and he certainly has the profile pic to back him up
marinus_fml 20
Hahah #2 is wrong. I meant to say that doing weights increases your metabolism a lot more, not cardio.
Bobissmall 13
Doing both is best though, I've heard doing 30 mins of cardio before lifting weights greatly improves the effects.
FMLoverAgain 7
The principle of losing weight is to take in less calories than your body burns. If your calories intake is higher than what your body burns, you will gain weight, no matter what. If you control your food consumption and do cardio you definitely will lose weight. Try swimming 2500 meters a day, seven days a week and you'll see.
ACDC_Fan 0
You have to do cardio to loose weight. Cardio burns fat and calories, and helps boost your metabolism. But you have to tone your muscles by lifting weights. You can't be promised weight loss if you just lift weights. Like #2 said.
shelbygordon44 7
52- if you swim for a hour and a half daily you can eat whatever the hell you want a lose weight. But you technically will gain weight from muscle build. I would know, I've been swimming competitively for 9 years. I gain more weight than I lose but I have like zero fat on my body. :P
perdix 31
You don't have to do any exercise to lose weight. You simply need to consume fewer calories than burn. Just to stay alive, people burn anywhere from 1500-2500 calories per day (there are a lot of factors that determines each person's individual number.) Exercise can help accelerate weight loss and make your body look better and work better, but the real major factor in determining weight loss and gain is diet.
zombicidal 11
I have to agree with Rock Lee (27 for non-anime fans) I mean he is pretty much the foremost authority in exercise
Eggers 2
take a huge dump, you'll lose like 10 pounds
SimpleMinds_fml 7
You shouldn't run to lose weight. Walk, it burns more calories.
allisonbredow 0
Actually jumping rope is the best :)
4XxXo_OxXx4 0
The best way to lose weight fast is to do weights and cardio as well as be conscious of what you eat, b/c you need to burn more calories than you eat.
uffiewuffie 0
Actually you do cardio to burn fat. If you do weights, it only builds muscle. You're GAINING weight, not losing weight. Freakin idiot.
morganrules123 10
104- Actually it does both. By doing cardio, your losing immediate weight but your body still operates the same. By lifting weights your body believes that you are doing a lot of physical work everyday and it will make your metabolism more active. This will cause it to burn off even while your not working out.
thesunsetglow_fml 8
104- you're gaining mass. Weight and mass are two different things.
Cinn_fml 23
Technically weight is mass times gravity, so in everyday context people use them interchangeably due to the fact that most people don't leave the planet.
perdix 31
#97, you're right and you're wrong. Jumping rope is exceptionally good cardiovascular exercise. However, it is extremely high-impact and could be very bad for a fattie like the OP. You have to be pretty close to a normal weight to be fit enough for jumping rope.
allisonbredow 0
Ahaa, very true :)
NathanStrong 1
121 (thesunsetglow) - You're gorgeous!!
edgeofvictory 4
Well this person obviously hasnt worked out before cos they felt the need to and they don't know properly how to.
moworld 0
LOL
moworld 0
^^^^ 73
Prankster7o7 5
Hahahaha, you don't need weights at all honestly, all they're for is building mass and gaining strength, even though they help with weight loss. You can always do push ups, pull ups, dips, and crunches, the only weight they use is your body weight. Cardio is great for weight loss though, I've done boxing and lots of martial arts for years now and just training for boxing ( jump rope, running, speed bag, heavy bag) has made me lose at least 50lbs of fat, so don't be telling people that cardio doesn't make you lose weight, because that's like saying McDonalds isn't bad for you.
xXMudkipNoobXx 7
no shit sherlock
NitroTonicsFML 4
Run those circles like a boss!
cIickhere 5
Who said that the basement is small
NitroTonicsFML 4
I don't know, who said that the basement was small? Wasn't me.
cIickhere 5
Oops, my bad, comment on the wrong place
GlitteryMasakali 1
OP I suggest you get a tread mill :)
GlitteryMasakali 1
Treadmill** Grammar nazis have invaded FML I thought I'd correct myself before anyone else does. Lol
Eggers 2
62- Grammar nazis have invaded your mom. By the way, tell her I said thanks for last night.
rayrayray23 1
69 gots a stick up his butt
StoryOfTheYear 15
I've always envisioned jogging and working out as completely different things. Am I wrong?
marinus_fml 20
Nah I think you're right SOTY. Jogging isn't working out haha.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Yah, I know, my friend once said he wanted to go work out and when we get to the gym he goes and does cardio while I'm weightlifting and I'm just like what are you doing? But I'm sure it's common to use it in the context OP used it in.
aes1994 0
How is cardio not working out?
allisonbredow 0
Cardio is exercise :)
StoryOfTheYear 15
I apologize for having a different mentality.
cradle6 13
I kind of agree with 5. Any time I say I'm going to work out I mean lifting weights (whether it's a back/bicep day, leg day, etc.). If someone says, "I'm going to go exercise, then I would reasonably assume that they may include cardio." Oh, and with running you are working your legs and core a little. There's some small benefit but mostly cardio is for your heart, hence the term "cardiovascular."
killercole85 0
Loser
killercole85 0
That was a response to #1
coolkid_matt 11
Your awesome xD
sovetskiy 8
You're*
coolkid_matt 11
hehe oops
xx000o 27
Make sure you run counterclockwise.
zentrus 13
or clockwise
drawmesunshine 17
Am I the only one not getting this comment? :/
rottentomatoes 7
Why exactly?
borkchop1992 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
and youre not embarrased to post this in public?
Ins0mau 20
Ah. It's anonymous...
Deathhound 27
No one will know who that is
DishHeads 9
'its the eye of the tiger...' blasting in the background.
FYLDeep 26
At least you were running instead of doing nothing. That's probably more than a lot of people can say.
Anubyte 0
Yep, I'm reading this lazing in bed!