Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed against the emergency stop button, twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML
Today, I joined a gym. I’m overweight and not very athletic, so I was nervous. I looked around and tried a treadmill. I start walking at a chill pace, then got ambitious and cranked it to a "light jog." Within seconds, I tripped, fell, and sent the emergency stop button flying across the room. The gym staff ran over and I swear someone said, “Well, at least he’s trying.” FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
Today, I was at the gym and I tripped on the treadmill. Not only did I fall off the machine, I also managed to knock over two other people's water bottles and send them flying across the room. FML
Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML
Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML
Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML
Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML
Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and tried to act like I belonged there. I used the wrong machine, adjusted something I shouldn’t have, and had to ask a teenager how to reset it. FML
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Top comments
erindgentry 28
One time I went to the gym. I heard the sound of clapping and got so excited. Turns out it was just my thighs.
Shadowinthesun 15
At least your trying and that's what counts. Don't listen to all the negativity.
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Comments (99)
McPerrier 19
Sounds like a sign
kaylizs 20
A sign to what? Go to the gym? Moron.
Distruminox 13
Sorry OP. Try a bike instead :)
cheeeksss 29
I was going to add, why not try running outdoors? Nice scenery and no buttons to worry about (: I personally love running through suburban streets or through a park. And it's also easier to make goals. Like, keep running until the end of the block. Or until the last tree. You'll get there!
guesswhatlifesux 14
#58, personally, I disagree. I've found that it's easier to run on a treadmill because you go a constant speed and you don't subconsciously slow down. And there can be mile markers like I'm not going to walk until half a mile. Also, there is always a reason to not go outside that day (too hot, too cold, raining, etc.).
praesidiem 16
I prefer running on all fours, dressed in a tutu and barking at people. But to each their own I suppose!
kittycatdex 8
if the belly is big enough to stop it, running could be bad for you. a bike would be nicer to the knees in that case...
teentee401 37
Well now you have a goal! Get through a workout without stopping the treadmill.
Cads1 24
Wasn't Fat Bastard Scottish?
Mauskau 36
What does Fat Bastard have to do with this? OP is Irish ;)
Cads1 24
lol, never mind.
ScarredVox92 16
Just stop working out. It's better that way. 'Merica.
iwadasn 33
OP is from Ireland.
logicnazi 18
Although he probably didn't in fact realize Op was from Ireland, logically his comment would still make sense as in "try it our way instead, the fat ass way, the American way."
erindgentry 28
One time I went to the gym. I heard the sound of clapping and got so excited. Turns out it was just my thighs.
MrConcise 35
Did you keep going for the encores?
erindgentry 28
Of course 54..it made me realize how in shape I was. Round is a nice shape.
Wolfipoo 31
I guess that's just how you roll.
vikky538 29
Thats called self encouragement :)
allforfun 23
You say it like its a bad thing...
lil_ham1644 29
That was an fml a while ago. It is possible that you're the author...
Iamnotfat 16
Either you have a great sense of humour, or you're trolling.. Either one, it's funny regardless
evank98 10
All the more reason to keep working. And at least you're trying, lots of people just straight up don't care.
Zoldyck 17
C'mon, I'm sure it's not that bad. You have a new goal now, then! We believe in you OP :)
coolguyiscool100 6
Just all the more reason to go to the gym. Don't give up and keep working hard!
Zebediabolical 45
If your beer belly gets in the way you probably shouldn't be running on a treadmill. Try a bike or a rowing machine instead for a while. That said, congratulations on taking that first step towards your new self.
ProfessorMctitie 20
Thats when you press the start button again