Today, while I was making a TikTok about motherhood, I accidentally dropped my 3-month-old baby. Upon learning what had happened, my understandably upset husband now won't talk to me, and I'm in the hospital on my knees, praying that my son makes it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home from the hospital after having emergency surgery on my hand. My TikTok obsessed teenager, who barely noticed I was gone, never mind that I had surgery, chose today to actually leave her room and sit downstairs with the family. Yeah, she sat on my hand. I cried. Like a baby. FML
Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML
Today, I totaled my car whilst rushing to pick up my son from daycare. This happened as I was leaving the hospital, after dropping off a wheelchair to my recently disabled wife, who is taking care of our newborn in the special care unit. FML
Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He immediately had a massive panic attack about how a kid is going to ruin his life and split us up, because obviously I’ll choose the baby over him. We’re now in hospital because he hyperventilated, passed out and fractured his skull on the door handle. FML
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
Today, my 4 year-old son got a hole in his head from doing a twirl jump off bricks out the back. After being in hospital for 8 hours, my car battery was flat from me leaving the lights on. My husband went to get a new battery and lost his wallet. FML
Today, my husband rushed me to the hospital, and we were told that I'd had a miscarriage. Neither of us knew I was pregnant. FML
Today, I asked my wife to keep our toddler confined while I hung a shelf. Of course, she didn't, and he came in and picked up a screwdriver. I tried to take it away, and he ran off giggling, only to trip and slice his forehead open. According to my wife, this is entirely my fault and she is taking him to her mom's. FML
Today, I tried to make it right by visiting my girl in the hospital after she had our baby. I fucked up by freaking out and dumping her since I didn’t feel ready, but now wanted to do the right thing. When I got there, another guy was kissing her and holding my baby. My best friend/cousin. FML
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Top comments
angus 17
Because TikTok is so important. I hope your child pulls through and you ditch social media and become a good parent.
GoogieWithers 25
But you had time to make a FML?? Guess you have learned nothing!
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Comments (4)
angus 17
Because TikTok is so important. I hope your child pulls through and you ditch social media and become a good parent.
Hangryko 32
Put down the ****ing phone, permanently. I hope your baby pulls through.
GoogieWithers 25
But you had time to make a FML?? Guess you have learned nothing!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Our future is screwed. People becoming parents can't go five minutes without being on a device with some sort of social media. So that's what the kids will be like... or they'll get brain damage because of their parents being stupid.