Today, my boyfriend went out and bought a pistol. When I asked him in horror why he did such a thing, he said, "It's my God-given right as a US citizen!" We're not even American, we immigrated from the UK, and we were both atheists, or so I thought. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend of 10 years has a beloved wife and a gun. I never even knew he was married or that he packed heat; others outed him. His response is not one of remorse but of self-righteousness and being outright mean to me, especially fun given my dad just died, and my uncaring mom attacks me for not supporting genocide. FML
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML
Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML
Today, after five years of being with my boyfriend, I found out that he is apparently very xenophobic. FML
Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML
Today, I finally confronted my husband about his silicon *wedding ring* having rifle bullets on it. He said, "I love you as much as I love guns." I clarified, "As much as?" to give him an out. He replied, 100% serious, that he really loves his guns. FML
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Top comments
idragosani 17
It's definitely not a God-given right, since out Constitution was written by humans. I know lots of atheist & left-wing people who own guns, though. They just keep quiet about it and don't walk around with guns like they are penile extensions.
FluffythePink 24
If I emigrated to the US and got accepted, the first thing I'd do is go buy a gun. Just because I could. And because I was in the US, but mostly because I could. It's not a boy thing either, I'm of the middle aged female persuasion and would be giggling as I booked myself the first opportunity to fire a Minigun that I could find with a go on a flamethrower for afters. When in Rome...
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Comments (7)
poopface82 25
If he was joking, it’s mildly funny. If he’s serious, leave his ass.
RichardPencil 32
With all of the gun nuts here, it's your right to NOT have a gun that is under threat!
FluffythePink 24
If I emigrated to the US and got accepted, the first thing I'd do is go buy a gun. Just because I could. And because I was in the US, but mostly because I could. It's not a boy thing either, I'm of the middle aged female persuasion and would be giggling as I booked myself the first opportunity to fire a Minigun that I could find with a go on a flamethrower for afters. When in Rome...
sonofmandalor 16
at least he knows it's his responsibility to protect himself and you from danger and not the police
Iamthebanzai22 21
Just let him buy it and then go to a shooting range with him and ask if you can fire off a few rounds. You will understand, trust me. Sometimes we just have to let the primal part of ourselves out a bit.
Hangryko 32
Well, he's indoctrinated now. Dump him and go back to the UK, where they have sensible gun laws.
idragosani 17
It's definitely not a God-given right, since out Constitution was written by humans. I know lots of atheist & left-wing people who own guns, though. They just keep quiet about it and don't walk around with guns like they are penile extensions.