Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
coltsrock37 15
that'll spike up his sex drive
dre_bro11 12
ouch! three-way with the cactus?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (168)
TheMasticater 9
lesson learned: cacti love sex.
fauxyhaha 0
indeed
ColtsDoug18 0
I bet that got him to thrust even harder!
skigirl98 9
like your picture? :)
Cheerleader05 0
wish there nice picture.! lol
ambeeelove 0
cactus needs love too!
IamVexatious 0
They just gatta pay.
hoodasswhitekid 0
cacti. just saying.
ambeeelove 0
I said cactus not cactuses. I'm from Arizona I know what I'm sayn
Igshmia 0
Cactus *****?
EvilBetcha 5
Ow. Just... ow.
IndigoFuckYou 9
Forget horny, spiky's the way to go.
lolasains 7
Cactus was jealous
nixter5 18
What's with all the cactuses above the bed lately? who even does that??
LizzieLizz18 4
THANK YOU!!! I totally agree!!! Its asking for trouble...
KennKenn 0
Was the cactus shaped like his dick?
Saltime 0
What the **** is wrong with you?...
KennKenn 0
My dry "humor".
teh_uber_muffin 3
By dry, he means 2yr old humour.
taelorrae011 0
a two year old wouldn't have said that. try 8 year old.
fauxyhaha 0
wtf ?
lol32360 0
lol
Euphoriah 0
Did he have to go to the hospital?