Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
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Top comments
annis_fml 0
lol...he seems to have some insecurity issues
rukusrazor 0
What a loser, unless you are a constant nag, so much so that he thinks everything you say to him sounds like you're telling him what and how to do.
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Comments (250)
WomboCombo 0
I speak the truth. That makes me a troll? #51 you're obviously a shit-chucking ape. I can tell you're a silly **** and don't mean what you said so I'll let it slide this time.
chilly359 0
if MY girlfriend said that i would.... GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS!
_musical_addict_ 0
omfg that's absolutely hysterical I laughed really loud when I read that Maybe have better communication next time? XD
genius_man16 1
Lol, I feel sorry for you. What kind of guy says that when her girlfriend says "harder" Someone is insecure. At best.
MissWillyB 0
HAHA next time be very quiet.
thequeenofscots 0
...LOL LOL LOL. Not really an FML, but this definnnnitely made me laugh.
ohhhhshizzz 0
OMFG. WomboCombo, is the biggest sexist douchebag this site has hidden. Like I've said once before about him, his issues stream from the fact that he can't get laid & no woman would want to come anywhere near his penis. He talks about women horribly, it is very surprising his mother didn't abort him as a baby, or just ******* kill him I know I would. Hey I wouldn't come to New Orleans if I were you, you might get some gumbo with a little poison.
SPQR_fml 0
Lol, that is the most hilarious thing I've heard on this site yet.
prog1 0
That is just ridiculously hilarious.
teebonehead 0
Dump the little tooled basterd ! dump him