Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
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Top comments
annis_fml 0
lol...he seems to have some insecurity issues
rukusrazor 0
What a loser, unless you are a constant nag, so much so that he thinks everything you say to him sounds like you're telling him what and how to do.
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Comments (250)
thelonelylurker 0
LOL, that's hilarious. Shows what happens when you imitate porno videos.
Dnastii 0
I think its not what you said but perhaps how you said it...perhaps the way you said "oh yea harder harder" came off sarcastic making him feel like you werent really enjoying it and he wasnt pleasing you. The one thing a guy who truly loves you wants is to be able to satisfy you =)
Sleepwalker418 0
#23 Your boyfriend likes it when you call faster and harder during sex? Meanwhile it says you're 13 on your profile... Either you ARE 13 and having sex with someone or you're making that shit up about ever having sex to make yourself seem grownup or whatever. Either way you just fail in life.
flamencosketches 0
lol your boyfriend is a bitch. why are you ******* with him? find yourself a real man.
BaldOuting 0
that was lame of him.
harlehatschi 0
that isnt such a harsh thing to say even if you WERE criticising him. your boyfriend's a bitch, he needs to grow up
omglyktotally78 0
Get the **** over yourself you stupid selfish bitch. This is not an FML at all and not the end of the world. Why the **** don't you just get your lazy ass on top and give him a ride for a change you lazy bitch. God Damn you piss me off.
shirvon100 0
homeboy not mesuring up ay?
Subtext 10
93...fails And OP: You should have stopped after yeah...
kike123 0
#93, she was just talking dirty. He just misunderstood and got mad for no reason. And you're being a real ass, just stop it. By the way, who gets mad when their girlfriend wants it harder; especially when she says it in a delighted, horny way? Isn't that enough of a sign to show you that she likes it and wants more? OP, I feel bad for you.