Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend wanted to spend time online with me. He kept quiet on Skype and went on a hundred different stupid websites, laughing by himself. Afterwards, he told me he really enjoyed our time together. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend, who was half asleep at 3 am, saying he was yelling my name because he needed toilet paper. We don’t even live together. FML
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Top comments
jackalope069 0
but if he didn't call you you'd probly complain that he doesn't call you enough
perdix 31
Did he aim the camera so you could examine his productivity?
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Comments (89)
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
True love, if only there was such a thing as smell-o-vision
Nandito2 0
^^WIN!!
IVANTTOCOME 0
This reminds me of the time when I broke both my arms in a motorcycle accident, and I couldn't wipe my ass, so my girlfriend wiped for me. I later dumped her because she was trying to wipe it after I was healed. FTW
Eyeliner_fml 0
LOL?! you're an idiot, be glad he's comfterble with you, or else he'll be comfterble with someone else... I'm just saying.
KingDingALing 9
27- She kept trying to wipe your ass because she was wiping the used toilet paper on your sandwichs.
Skroal_stomper 5
27. yea right.
starile 20
I'm still waiting on the advent of the Smell-o-scope so I can smell Uranus. 31, maybe wipe some of that eyeliner off your face so you can actually see what you're typing.
ferrariic 0
rofl
Danniiboii22 0
that is some good bonding!
ArtOfDesire 7
Agreed. This is in no way an indication of being together too long, but just an indication that he accepts you as being so connected with you that it doesn't matter that he's on the shitter.
luvyah 0
ummm gross? Imagine all the disgusting facial expressions!!!
bribabyy 0
get used to it. when my ex and I were dating he farted on my once and he picked his nose with my finger. guys are weird lol
jackalope069 0
but if he didn't call you you'd probly complain that he doesn't call you enough
krysxkatastrophe 14
At least you're comfortable with each other?
dudeman1212 22
Not anymore!
IVANTTOCOME 0
Nope that's a sign that he had to take a shit.
lamarswilley 0
well said fat guy
Rawaha 0
no hes just takin a shit!!
heyheywaddup 7
maybe time for a breakup???
chuy21 0
awsome but a little to far
Dr_Jalepenos 0
Awesome but a little too far.
perdix 31
Did he aim the camera so you could examine his productivity?
IVANTTOCOME 0
LOL poopie...
Halti 4
legend