Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
"i know you wanna come home with me and hit this. here hold my cup-- *blahghhhhgahahga* ya you wanna hit this."
eeppiicc 8
You're 16 how have you "done that once"?
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Comments (120)
Mr_Eradication13 9
Hahaha I have done that once
eeppiicc 8
You're 16 how have you "done that once"?
hypuuurness 6
your point?
StoryOfTheYear 15
12- There are high school aged people that make the incredibly stupid decision to get stoned. Yay for ******* up your growing body. Don't worry though, it's cool.
Death_From_Above 0
12 an 23- I agree with both of ya.. He ain't "done that" I guarantee it!
eeppiicc 8
23- yes thats true but to be 16 and get that drunk and claim to remember doing it is very unlikely.
StoryOfTheYear 15
A friend probably told him just as OP's friend told her, because even at OP's age (hopefully older?) she doesn't remember either.
eeppiicc 8
I still doubt he got as drunk as he claimed he did.
murdersquirrel 15
It's possible, even if it's stupid and irresponsible. If OP could do it, so could someone else...
eyeIoveyou 4
if you're interested in being more than friends, at least he has now seen a good side and bad side to you before :')
DocBastard 40
#1 - My bullshit alarm is going off. WoooooOOOOOOwoooOOOOOOwoooooOOOO
enonymous 9
28 - wine coolers, mikes hard lemonade, zima and fermented apple cider makes you do all sorts of ****** up things. This one time I went on a serious bender after 6 mikes hard and voted on Adam Lambert on American idol.
MiGman 5
Bottle of tequila also makes you do ****** up shit too
downtime 13
62, Your stupidity is not amusing.
spazz666 18
Okay first, LEARN ******* GRAMMAR. It's 16 year olds like you, the illiterate and immature, that make the rest of us look bad. second. It's 16 year olds like you that make adults think all 16 year olds are drunk stoners. And to all of you saying that it's "stupid teenagers" that like to get stoned and drunk, you can (excuse my French) go **** yourself. A 16 year old drinking is stupid, yes, but so is an 18 year old drinking as well as ANYONE drinking for the sake of getting drunk. And you know what? Weed has the same effect on someone wether they're 16, 18, 25 or 50 something. Stop being a bigoted asshole and learn your facts before you shove your opinion down other peoples throats. Thanks(:
KindaFunnyRight 8
94- Well said
downtime 13
94, You complain about other peoples grammar but your own is terrible, then you go on to make baseless claims with no supporting evidence and call people assholes for not accepting it as fact. You could have just saved some time and condensed it down to "I bring nothing to the table".
enonymous 9
94 - I'd check that theory about drinking / smoking at 16, 18, 25 again. You're basically saying it has the same effects on a person regardless of age... Which is incorrect if I give a 3 year old a beer or weed every day it will cause a lot of harm and stunt growth. A human brain will not fully develop until at least age 25.
GP14brBaller 5
Holy shit you just forced enonymous to make a serious comment. You really ****** up.
StoryOfTheYear 15
I second the notion put forth by enonymous.
GoW_Chick 15
94- I'd like to point out your 16 no one really cares what you think at this point in life it's the cold truth and also people may have different opinion then you at sometime or another so get use to it ... One more thing don't take things so serious on this site people mainly come on here to add some bullshit and/or sarcastic comment for a laugh.
gardenwhipped3 14
technically it produces almost the same results in people regardless of age. If you are stupid enough to start it at a younger age, it can interfere with future development. Smoking at all = dumb Drinking in excess = dumber Drinking/Smoking too often at an early age = Gifted Millennial Can you crank up your headphones while your at it? We can't hear them in the back of the public conveyance. And we would hate for you to miss the joys of tinnitus. Free pixie sticks for everyone!
ohmygoditsnils 0
/12: he's actually 13.
rcloca 10
That's awkward.
nonelikeworms 0
Well you ****** that up nicely OP
Skywalka911 0
"Propositioning him" What the hell does that mean?
GoW_Chick 15
She tried to get him to do the naked dance with her ... Get it now?
WTFjizzinmypantz 0
Wow.... That is all
Llama_Face89 34
Lame.... That is all.
Mattador_fml 0
Testicles....That is all
mom2pen 4
First impressions are lasting.
Feklfekl2222 32
It said an attractive FRIEND, meaning they already knew them before last month, so the first impression was probably awhile ago.
sparkrok 8
actually it says friend of a friend. so the may not have ever met before the drunken incident.
Feklfekl2222 32
79- thanks for pointing that out I hadn't actually noticed that. Now I'd assume that that was the first time they had met. But the way it was worded still suggests they knew each other prior to the situation.
Sarah_moustache 9
Seems like someone had too much vodka.
ohmandapants 17
Vodka isn't the only alcohol that exists.
Yodaevil 4
But it is the best! Vodka goes with everything!
tsmit 4
100 proof captain ftw!
Yodaevil 4
Called captain black. And brown liquors cause hangovers (er worse)
MariahDot 0
Alcoholic debate team ...
that1skaterxX 0
Juss put on your coooool face
flockz 20
"i know you wanna come home with me and hit this. here hold my cup-- *blahghhhhgahahga* ya you wanna hit this."
lindon555 0
LMFAOOO
Yodaevil 4
Who we kidding? Men, we'd still hit it! Just no kissing...
graham11 14
Flockz, your dialogues are so much better than bizarre_ftw's. I hate those with a burning passion..
every1luvsboners 11
Welcome to my world. This happens to me at least twice a week. After a couple times you lose the feeling of embarrassment and say '**** it, who cares.'
instnt1nfction 17
I care about you
Feklfekl2222 32
Stalker alert! ^^
Yodaevil 4
Damn! Why cant I get my very own cool stalker? I promise to feed and take care of them! Pleeeeaaaasssse!
graham11 14
77- you're not the one giving him a boner in the first place.. That would be my attractive profile picture over here;)
sydnee14 7
Haha! Is it bad to laugh?
NAAMxLOOS 11
Didn't you come to this website to laugh?
AkshaySauce 5
At least you made an impression. Sort of.
LiveRS 7
haha!