Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
"i know you wanna come home with me and hit this. here hold my cup-- *blahghhhhgahahga* ya you wanna hit this."
eeppiicc 8
You're 16 how have you "done that once"?
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Comments (120)
DobGriffen 8
Did you retry to proposition him sober ?
Feklfekl2222 32
You should never be that drunk without friends that are slightly less drunk that will stop you doing things like that. What a stupid comment for my 400th comment. It barely makes sense.
MommaMuff 6
I can die happy knowing this is your 400th comment. That information was the most important thing I've ever learned. Thank you.
Feklfekl2222 32
I see it was so important for you to comment about it's importantness. I'm honoured.
Feklfekl2222 32
I like your cat, very futuristic!
guitardude728 9
wait... people don't find that attractive???
Marieflowers 0
Haha!
Mr25_fml 14
That awkward moment when you realize you were vomiting and humping your friend last time you saw them
Xquisite1 28
real classy
Sagginbackwards 3
He was only awkward because he was waiting for more humping.
pianoplayer155 3
haha brilliant
HappyJello 7
That awkward moment when...
Right_Click 12
When you don't finish your comment?
missamazinggg 12
When you repeat a comment above your own.
drew_jordan1 0
If I had a nickel for everytime I've been in this situation I'd have 25 cent
mrsayuso 0
Um your 15..... Drinking problem much ?
drew_jordan1 0
I was def. jus kidding
drew_jordan1 0
And I meant that I was the one that felt awkward not the one that was drunk
AkshaySauce 5
No offense, but your profile picture strongly suggests that you are, in fact, a "douche bag".
DocBastard 40
Drew - First of all, pull your damned shirt down and have some ******* self respect. No one is impressed, I assure you. Second, no one here believes that drunk women have hit on you once, let alone 5 times. Again, NO ONE is impressed.
drew_jordan1 0
Haters
awagh666 14
Stupid ^
drew_jordan1 0
"I smile for the haters" quote from aerie
Llama_Face89 34
54- ah but you changed your picture. Guess he struck a nerve, eh?