Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
"i know you wanna come home with me and hit this. here hold my cup-- *blahghhhhgahahga* ya you wanna hit this."
eeppiicc 8
You're 16 how have you "done that once"?
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Comments (120)
jobsman99 0
Maybe you more than only propositioned him.
shrekus 0
And she was awful...
KiddNYC1O 22
By more than, do you mean she blew him so bad she used her teeth?
flockz 20
nooooo...... please...... bad memories..... MAKE THEM STOP!!
Haitian_Hardhead 0
Whomp whomp...lol
loserboii 11
You should have had drunken sex with him. Then he wouldn't think you're so weird
loserboii 11
You should have had drunken sex with him. Then he wouldn't think you're so weird
Mannie27 0
Dumbass
spottyblanket 8
It isn't good to drink that much and not remember it. 0_o
lucyinthesky420 10
LOL win. Ive done this, luckily it's not awkward. Next time, slow down while drinking so you don't get hammered all at once and black out :)
c0c0_fml 16
So many "you deserve it" lately! You definitely do and you're disgusting! Learn how to drink.
glittercookies 12
It happens to the best of us.
skiezee 0
It isn't it
c0c0_fml 16
Really? Good for you.
cooLING 0
Stop being a snob. I bet you're not attractive all the time either!
c0c0_fml 16
And I bet you never are
chay_chay 5
Just say that wasn't me, it was my twin ;) lol
NullPointer 20
The fact that he didn't say yes leads me to the conclusion that you are ugly. So despite the fact that you totally deserve this, f your life for being ugly.