Today, I saw my new pet fish completely missing the food at the bottom of his tank and sucking up the little rocks instead. My last dog died from eating rocks. I think I'm doomed to have insanely stupid pets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML
Today, my neighbor asked me to check in on his pet. When I went into his house, I couldn't find any animals. I searched all over, and finally gave up and called him. I asked him what type of pet he had. His response? "My pet rock, Stubby." That's right, I just spent some time looking for a rock. FML
Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML
Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML
Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
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Top comments
ARSCON 15
What about a pet rock?
SubparAtBest 23
Are you sure they're stupid? Maybe they're just stoned. Maybe it seemed like a solid plan at the time and now he's just hit rock bottom.
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Comments (89)
ARSCON 15
What about a pet rock?
Skycop_S 23
Then he would be doomed to a cannibal pet
TheNewGuy03 29
14, what an igneous statement.
QueenSaru 28
@40, someone didn't get your joke. :(
Lalala579121 28
It's sedimentary, 8!
ocdisbad 2
No bcuz the fish would eat it.
JackFaire 27
What do you think killed the dog?
SubparAtBest 23
Are you sure they're stupid? Maybe they're just stoned. Maybe it seemed like a solid plan at the time and now he's just hit rock bottom.
Supaviper 14
PLS NO STAHP
SubparAtBest 23
CAN'T STOP, WON'T STOP
winchester97 20
you are so punny
Purplekitten1981 2
Now, that's how you use puns on this website. Lol!
SubparAtBest 23
Thanks
big_Wang_theory 3
This pun was SubparAtBest.
BulgyCashew33 16
I would remove the rocks from the fish tank and maybe add something else like sand
kiki1705 20
Why not bigger stones they can't swallow? AHA see? Me smart!
PANDORUM89 21
Sand can kill them too, so I agree with the above commenter. Either buy larger stones for your tank or switch to barebottom tanks, not only are barebottoms easier to clean they can help keep your ammonia, nitrates, nitrites, and pH levels steady because you don't have trapped food sitting on the bottom. This can be used for fresh or salt tanks and shouldn't cause any issues unless you have burrowing creatures or plants.
DelugeandDrought 7
I wouldn't go with bigger rocks. My fish would always get stuck under the rocks when they tried to get the food at the bottom of the bowl.
Redlum 7
I dont know what kind of fish you're keeping and Im not an expert but I know that its normal for some fish, including goldfish, to do that.
Queen_of_Night 20
I was about to say this. It's normal for some fish to suck up rocks then spit them out. It's also normal for a new fish to not eat for a few days. Longer than a week though, OP should go to a fish forum.
curlyzwurlyz 3
The goldfish I had as a child once sucked up a pebble bigger than what he could handle. It got wedged in its mouth and you could tell it was struggling because his body was flaying around in a frenzy and it was banging itself on the tank wall. Thankfully my father was home that day, he hurredly fished him out and removed the pebble from its mouth and dropped it back in the tank. The fish was fine after that.
sprouting 13
Why do you own so many rocks?
Noemmyforyou 14
Such a valid question.
hellnosucka 27
OP is a rock star.
KyoshiroT 32
OP just likes to get stoned, he/she has his/her priorities straight. Especially if you managed to hit rock bottom, you can easily climb back up.
sparkledoge 29
Expecting a fish to be somewhat intelligent usually leads to disappointment...
Lalala579121 28
Tell that to the Mythbusters.
guy_incognito___ 20
Well that works for pretty much every animal. Humans included. Actually preferably for humans.
sparkledoge 29
Hmmm, True.
doodlecloud 27
Erm, that's what fish do. They suck up a rock, eat all the algae or bacteria or whatever builds up on it, then spit the rock out.
saudor 14
Yeah. Like others said - completely normal especially if it's a goldfish. All of mine did that even when I accidentally over fed them
Thoughtfulelf123 3
Most fish eat rocks. Maybe you should research your pets before you get them.
Notesz_b 13
It's normal, don't worry.