Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML
Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed, and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML
Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML
Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML
Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML
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Top comments
timetoshare 0
Your roommate is a psycho watch crminal minds animal cruelty is step one
fijianchick 0
How long did it take?
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Comments (114)
bigAC 6
first
Naomimi_fml 6
No, stop
timetoshare 0
Your roommate is a psycho watch crminal minds animal cruelty is step one
margie2194 12
Survival of the fittest? It's part of nature.
Naomimi_fml 6
Did she put your cat in the washing machine yet?
LiveLaughFML 10
..just keep swimming, just keep swimming
FFPulley 9
Tonight on Celebrity Fish Death Match....
genesisnirvana 11
OP hide your fish. hide yourself. Cause she's starving everything out there.
HowAreYouToday 34
Sushi!!!!
Keyman1212 14
Get the **** out. Soon, they'll start poisoning you to "purposely see how long you live."
ShyAnn29 15
Mice do that, if there's no food they'll eat each other
datguyuno 5
@13 In the wild yes but if they are you pets, them you have to take care of them. Dumb bitch
eminemchick 19
She's just a slightly crazed experimenter. I advise you to watch your step around her.
hiLife808 0
36 - I can hear the beat of this song while I read your comment
Finn_the_human 5
Your roommate sounds like a messed up b#%@$
coffeygirl12 14
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo fish...sorry, got caught up in the singing. I'm white & nerdy.
margie2194 12
50- I was kidding. Don't get your panties in a twist.
alphabetsoup96 0
Why doesn't she just change her roomate?
nero9112 4
True, I started by being cruel to humans to be specific. I wish OP's flatmate would have been my mate. She sounds so interesting.
cudi504 4
Shes gonna grow up to be one of the people that sets animals on fire while theyre still alive...if she doesnt do that already
ihateyouall140 0
36-you made me roflmao
Hiker4 9
Poor fish!
christa953 12
@14: the roommate reference!!
FiestaInMyPants 8
2 - It took me about 3 times reading your sentence to understand it. Punctuation is our friend. :P
dukefan302 4
Nows the time u take out the ole gun u keep and do some dirty work
dukefan302 4
Nows the time you take out that old shotgun of yours and do some dirty work :D
Iheartfunny 1
what is she like the mike vick of fish.
Iheartfunny 1
I was going to write another comment but I was mezmerised by how colourful 16's picture is
Stoopidkid 0
you should starve her to death.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
That's actually really disturbing. Most of the fish I've had would ignore some great, available fish food and eat the other fish without a second thought, cruel bitches.
Majstr 23
Scary!
manbearpig7173 0
I wonder what's next on her crazy experiment list. "I wonder what will happen if I smash my roommates skull with a rock"
grapisy 8
50- they're /fish/. Nobodys gonna call the animal rights people over two goldfish.
dre_bro11 12
OP, as long as you make sure you feed it daily, it should be fine.
latina_girl143 0
omg!!! I agree watch criminal minds!! that's Scary and creepy!!!
Felix_Felicis15 8
I looooove criminal minds! When I'm at parks, I now always take a friend with me to park restrooms so she can watch out for psycho sadists while I pee. Always use the buddy system!
Damion9872 0
yes but u see that only works when they can find food on their own. not when u put them in a bowl with no food and do it on purpose...
Daralea 21
Oh yea, 165. My fish would followed another pregnant fish and eat the new fries at they came out. Took me a while to learn to pick out the pregnant ones early and isolate them.
tutuluzer5968 0
Hi dale -.-"
kickassnumerouno 0
Fish don't lay fries, 227.
fijianchick 0
How long did it take?
dd809 9
You're sick
smashgrab 0
I'm actually curious too... How long would it take? I would never do that to my fish, but the thought is interesting.
Alexisthebestest 16
The fish at walmart kill each other all the time. ******* cannibals...
flockz 20
the sex slaves in my basement eat each other all the time as well. pain in the ass to clean up.
DelilahPhan 6
Ahaha I would so do that.
dd809 9
What is wrong with you? That's sick.
flockz 20
"hey there delilah i think dd thinks your a sick, shallow repulsive human being for even considering sticking two of God's creatures in a bowl to fight to the death with intent of devouring each other." but i'm pro-cannibalism so do what you please.
nero9112 4
@7- Kudos for using the correct "you're". Yeah I know you forgot the full stop but I will let that slide. I love being a prick.
EnEl_Infierno 15
#4 Your sick, I like it, lol.
DelilahPhan 6
#77 who's dd? And you use big words.
butterybiscuit 6
Haha your number 69 :)
FarSide 23
I am not a PETA member, nor an eco terrorist. But that is just plane cruel and evil to do to any of God's creation.
ghm1234 0
**** god!
PrickHead 0
145, **** you...
bizarre_ftw 22
7 - perhaps, but that was funny
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
Now that you metion it, i'm kinda curious too...
Confuciussay 6
52 - Only if you ask the workers there that you want to buy some small fishes and then wait until they leave to release them into the tank that holds the larger fishes.
MandathePanda24 0
Ur number is 69 haha
nero9112 4
Thinking them as God's creations is far worse than being a PETA member.
yomommma 6
I had a Beta fish and it ate all the other fish. You could see holes through the fish.
yomommma 6
I had a Beta fish and it ate all the other fish. You could see holes through the fish.
yomommma 6
I had a Beta fish and it all the other fish. You could see holes through the dead fish.
yomommma 6
I had a Beta fish that ate my fish. You could see holea through the dead fishes.
Daralea 21
For my sisters 2 goldfish it took 3 nights. One ate the other to the bone. A day later it started spasming and died.
bunniex1 11
Well it took about two weeks for our fish to starve to death after eating each other but we had a lot, probably about a week or so for her
herop 0
Watch out. She can eat your fish
je_suis_fml 11
there's nothing wrong with eating her "fish"...
EnEl_Infierno 15
He never saw it coming, that one day he'd grow up to be sushi, poor nemo r.i.p
GuitarFail123 9
fail of a roomate for sure...
macrosoft 3
Dont let her near your fish...
xlord 27
Ohh really because I was under the impression that OP's roommate would be so nice to the fish ( I'm being sarcastic for any noobs that can't understand)
flockz 20
your comment was so sarcastic that there was no need to say it was sarcastic you n00b.
xlord 27
You'd be surprised how many people would think I wad serious.
flockz 20
no i understand what you mean. you can really tell how many people dont know you're being sarcastic by the amount of times you get thumbed down. like this one time 57 people actually thought i ****** a bear with a cactus once.... i mean really?
hailphire130 0
37-R U Retarted!? OP'S roomy is a fackin FISH kiler! If she waz left wit 1, sheD be kilin it!!!!!
chili10 18
89 maybe the reason you got thumbed down 57 times had less to do with the fact that they actually believed you ****** a bear with a cactus and more to do with the fact that your comment sucked...
hailphire130 0
Yes, flockz. Take my last comment for example.
hypnotiq_trini 0
Don't let her hear YOU lol
hypnotiq_trini 0
Don't let her near YOU
2ndSucks 15
Never leave your fish unattended. Specifically with psycho roommates.
BShady96 0
sooo... is he supposed to take his fish around with him in his pocket? o__O
xlord 27
That's just stupid. Pockets are dry... OP's mouth would be better
mcintosh123 15
Just like what Mr. Bean used to do.
MagicallyFat 12
Congrats your new roommate is. Serial killer
WiderWille 11
I actually wonder why people are afraid of serial killers. The real danger are parallel killers.
lazerdude07 0
Put her in a bowl so she can't get out. Then starve her to death and see what happens.
CryMoreFMLs 15
That's a waste of glass. Just take her out behind the shed Ol' Yeller style....
flockz 20
sheds are a waste of wood and a gun is a waste of bullets..... let her choke on air!!!
Alexisthebestest 16
"...goodbye, yeller." Gets me every single time.
WiderWille 11
Hey #32, when you are interested in what happen when you starve someone to death: They starve to death.
poppinblue 9
Psycho much? Dude that's just plain creepy :s
nero9112 4
Perhaps, but I think you are repulsive. Do you understand how perspective works?
Alexisthebestest 16
99- No need to be an asshole. Then again, that's just my perspective of you.
nero9112 4
You are correct, I love being an asshole.
GraceKathryn97 0
Well that's not a lil creepy! (sarcasm)
aftertheriot 0
back away slowly.
reallytho3 11
Then run frrantically
reallytho3 11
Then run frrantically