Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, in the changing room at my gym, you'd never see my D. I'm very strategic and my towel or shirt will always block it. Today there was a dad-bod walking nude to the mirror without a towel. I saw his. There was bush of hair surrounding a pale pink little acorn. How does he have the confidence? How is he not shy? FML
Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML
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Top comments
Earths_Venus 25
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
smokergirl420 0
there's something wrong with that boy >.>
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Comments (215)
hales1919 3
hahaha I love that he told you this
shine_lika_boss 0
gay
paralyzingsilenc 0
he could just take a shower when he gets home...unless he likes showing his semi around men then I'd say fyl
allplayedout 20
your boyfriend is about to become your gay friend...just stating the obvious
DjeePee 25
1) he has a small penis 2) he thinks he has a small penis 3) he's gay 4) you're his first girlfriend and he wants to wait with sex That's all I can think off.
abstar 0
5) He is frightened that if he has sec with OP she will realise his "semi" is actually him at full mast?
tinaletto 0
and why won't he have sex with you ?? let's check out gay meter lol
xXxbiancaxXx 0
I have absolutley no comment on that... except ya I'd b worried too
owo_fml 9
This could easily have been a "I don't know what's worse" FML! Since it wasn't, I'll give the OP an FYL instead of the YDI she deserves for being ugly(:
rextasy 0
Pam down kimmy5. I wanna see your ****!
TonyTheTaiga 0
what if that semi turned to a fully erect penis?then he'll deffinately be called gay instead of trying to impress other guys.