Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, in the changing room at my gym, you'd never see my D. I'm very strategic and my towel or shirt will always block it. Today there was a dad-bod walking nude to the mirror without a towel. I saw his. There was bush of hair surrounding a pale pink little acorn. How does he have the confidence? How is he not shy? FML
Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML
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Top comments
Earths_Venus 25
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
smokergirl420 0
there's something wrong with that boy >.>
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Comments (215)
EvilDave 13
sounds like he watches too much **** and thinks his dick is too small because it isn't the size of an Arizona Ice Tea can.
Charlie194 0
If he needs to give himself a semi it means he already has a small **** :)
melbaby8 0
youre cuteeee :)
shadowsbane 0
I find it worrying that he's managed to get a semi into a gym's shower room. It's pretty hard to miss an 18-wheeler.
DaveTheBrave20 0
your boyfriend is gay.......
soulja93 0
haha that really sux OP. Maybe your boyfriend just hasnt come out of the closet yet?
kroms001_fml 0
he is doing it wrong, I walk around fully erect in womens showers.
bulldog678 0
haha!!
beancoinc 0
why would I care about what the guys think about my dick as long as you like & enjoy it who cares, let him know you would enjoy a tease from him & maybe there will be a happy ending in it for him!
alicia_was_here 3
so he has a semi around a bunch of naked dudes but wont have sex with you? does that mean hes gay??
nerdsgetmehot 23
I'd be more than a little concerned if I were you...Also, can't the other guys tell that he has a semi-erection? Isn't that super awkward?
ashwowa 14
I was thinking the same thing. . im sure guys can tell the difference between a flaccid penis and a semi erect penis. must he awkward in the locker room...
PentiumBawls8 0
why would any man want dick attention from other guys? Ultra gay.