Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, in the changing room at my gym, you'd never see my D. I'm very strategic and my towel or shirt will always block it. Today there was a dad-bod walking nude to the mirror without a towel. I saw his. There was bush of hair surrounding a pale pink little acorn. How does he have the confidence? How is he not shy? FML
Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML
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Top comments
Earths_Venus 25
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
smokergirl420 0
there's something wrong with that boy >.>
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Comments (215)
nikalb3 0
me too
rawrkira 3
So what? Just because he's your boyfriend doesn't mean he's obliged to have sex with you.
fakkumairaifu 14
If that doesn't obligate him to do his duty, I don't know what does. WTF.
Upster 0
I suggest, on your boyfriends behalf, that you tie him down and have your way with him, before you get bored and find another tent to pitch.
missinmee11 0
Well, just for doing that I wouldn't say he's queer, however that and the thing about not wanting to sleep with you, then he's probably gay... But, maybe not, I don't know what you look like..
qwacktastick 8
hAhahahahahahahahahahahahahaukdjriddbdmsixhjxdwbwkdiuxd ******
ollie415 10
O_o
lawlatyourfml 0
your boyfriend has less confidence than my ex.. and thats sad.
nismo_r2 5
IM CONVINCED....HE IS GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
krevs123 0
hes probly goin gay hahahaha
4fucksake 4
i knw im not shur what he was thinking telling me, and no im not ugly lol! some a the comments here are hilarious cheers guys! XD
Trollz4daLULZ 2
shur noe prublim glad 2 chier u up!