Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Get it on
Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML
Hmmm, twins
Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Sounds hot
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML
Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML
Weird reason, but OK
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of our differing skin tones. The contrast weirds him out during sex. FML
Today, I decided to dye my hair to freshen up my appearance. I asked my husband for his opinion, expecting him to recommend a color. He then asked me why going on a diet wasn't my first option. FML
Dad jokes
Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
Oh no, the humanity!
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend had dyed her hair a ridiculous bright color. She knows I absolutely fucking despise brightly colored hair on women. FML
Top comments
Digithead 0
If he is comparing you to a **** star, he isn't worth his weight in warm spit. Dump him and find someone who sees you as a person before anything else.
kernelkat 16
Yeah my ex boyfriend wanted me to dye my hair blonde and he was a jackass. I suspect it's the same with this guy. Nothing you do will ever be quite good enough.
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Comments (50)
zungg 5
don't let the hand your hold, hold you down!
thecoolcow 0
What?
xstephylambx 0
Oh yeah, he's a keeper. ;)
Starfire22 5
That sucks n now I bet blond doesn't look good on u next time use a wig
perdix 31
Don't mess with dyeing, shave that whole area clean! Big deal if you leave a little landing strip that is darker than Brianna Banks'.
biwinning88 1
you understand she's talking about the hair on her head right
monzach 5
it scares me that he doesn't...unless he always humps the girl's head when (if) he has sex
schinthalapuri 0
I hope you did the most sensible thing and beqt him senseless... But still ydi for not pleasuring him enough, so he has to pleasure himself with ****
trollzmakemelolz 0
*beat
fmivida1 0
So he's into the lady gaga look?
Mx_Rider 6
dont be mad, like he has a chance with a pornstar. now go have some fun maybe turn the other way when youre boning make his fantasy come true.
kernelkat 16
Yeah my ex boyfriend wanted me to dye my hair blonde and he was a jackass. I suspect it's the same with this guy. Nothing you do will ever be quite good enough.
saimaali 0
Agreed.
taylorrbaby333 6
I definitely agree.
Digithead 0
If he is comparing you to a **** star, he isn't worth his weight in warm spit. Dump him and find someone who sees you as a person before anything else.
Cristaderzi 0
Well next time buy the stuff that HE likes as is your man!!! Man =in charge!! I ALWAYS dress as my guy wants!!
ImaMonsterRawr 0
so you let men treat you like a piece of meat?
Servonski 0
no, she just knows how to please her man. intimacy is important in a relationship idiot
jesikkah 4
You are a dumbass