Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML
Today, our landlord came over to chop down our cherished apple tree. While doing so, he ate one of the apples, concurring that they really did taste excellent. FML
Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
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Top comments
BunnyRose 11
horses these days. smh
Damian95 16
A pun like that? I say neigh.
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Comments (139)
thepretender10 4
at least he didn't attempt to rape you
SlapAndTickle 20
You sir have issues. For that to be your first thought I'm going to assume you've watched too many ********** videos..
Shadowbay 18
Yeah you never eat something like that in a field with horses... sounds like it was just one. Your lucky there weren't more they might've fought over it...
SmilieAKD 20
This may be my favorite FML ever.
Croco83 7
I'm sure this will be something that you'll look back on and laugh your ass off every time you tell it. I'm sorry, but this is just too funny! Hope you're all right OP; I know that horses can really hurt people bad if they want to.
Cheddarbison 2
Applejack, why!?
Xotoolyxo 16
He just wanted his apple back
bonesofkhaos 9
This is epic.
worldclassrager 41
Looks like you are going to have to swap out fruit for the morning walks make sure the horse is secure...
base_solid 6
Dang
queerchristian 5
At least he didn't try to eat it out of your hand, along with you hand.