Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML
Today, our landlord came over to chop down our cherished apple tree. While doing so, he ate one of the apples, concurring that they really did taste excellent. FML
Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
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Top comments
BunnyRose 11
horses these days. smh
Damian95 16
A pun like that? I say neigh.
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Comments (139)
1jordan1 11
Pretty much the greatest thing I've ever heard.
cheer21moose 13
I feel bad... But I totally laughed just imagining the smug look on the horses face.
brendejafulable 41
That's the funniest thing ever. Neyyyyyy.
Slimbo305 11
Lmfao
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
An apple a day keeps the doctor away but gets your ass hit by a horse.
Norrisv5 8
I can't see how a horse snuck up on you
DJEddieXZ 9
How cute!
basketcase2312 8
I hate horses.
zsshamalama 11
that's not an FML that's just cool.
UnknownCitizen 1
Most of the horses I am familiar with will colic and die if they eat apples. Just saying. Karma will come back around to him.