Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML
Today, our landlord came over to chop down our cherished apple tree. While doing so, he ate one of the apples, concurring that they really did taste excellent. FML
Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
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Top comments
BunnyRose 11
horses these days. smh
Damian95 16
A pun like that? I say neigh.
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Comments (139)
aklm15 14
I hope he stared you in the eyes as he ate it.
shellykjelly 26
You should feel lucky , the horse was showing you mercy while getting revenge, For killing the horses and feeding them to humans. The horse was Being nice that it didn't eat you as revenge !
LithFlavored 10
Why I love horses. He is definitely a go getter
omgjustno 7
It's not our fault this story just comes with too many bad puns
imbedderdenu 23
lmao thats funny! bad horse!!
corocoro 30
Ninja horse in action!
CooperRage 13
Nah, if it was a ninja horse, they would have never saw him.
lollypop30001 19
You're the dick for eating his apple. You deserved it.
Schiffy 18
No one said it was the horse's apple to begin with. Learn to read.
jagott 4
We know it's not his apple. However, in the horse's mind EVERY apply is HIS apple.
ohhey_di 10
I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn't really apply in this case
OnlyTheDarkest 17
No.. It is true... It just doesn't work for horses.
grgnyce 8
That's awesome!!!
Coolet90 7
should have taken two... and next time don't stroll through the field?