Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML
Today, our landlord came over to chop down our cherished apple tree. While doing so, he ate one of the apples, concurring that they really did taste excellent. FML
Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
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Top comments
BunnyRose 11
horses these days. smh
Damian95 16
A pun like that? I say neigh.
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Comments (139)
tigerisabelle 31
Neigh way. Hay did you let that happen? C'mon, he was just horsing around. Don't take a hoof up the ass.
ManInTheMachine 20
Still, that was a pretty mane thing for the horse to do.
rocker_chick105 31
12 what are you doing. 12 stahp
ILoveMyArm 15
Hey, don't rein on the fun. I guess horse puns aren't welcome here, of horse I am going to try it out anyway. Who am I kidding, this is a night-mare. I apologize in advance for my terrible puns.
Pesticides 19
I hope the neigh-bors can identify the horse. That is not stable behavior of a horse
michelleJ11 25
STOP WITH THE TERRIBLE PUNS!
jesustitts 20
CORNER OF DEATH
SlapAndTickle 20
Let me guess, puns are now overrated and are now looked down in? Pffft.
CobraLazerFace 21
YOU CAME TO THE WRONG NAY-BORHOOD MUTHERBUCKER!
ty7in_topic 31
Rule number one on a farm: don't carry your food around animals.
Welshite 40
Humans are animals. We aren't safe anywhere! *clutches lunch close*
Treveyon56 14
True I mugged a guy for Bacon.
Hamz1989 13
What a smart horse.
PenguinBitch 44
If ms Parker wants the apple, MS PARKER GETS THE APPLE!
AGB10 19
Aren't you glad it wasn't you who was the apple of his eye?
Ari1337 15
Yeah its a good thing OP was just holding it.
Olympiakos10 15
Did it have it's hoof to your neck as it slowly started to eat the apple?
Thoricsteam20 24
Thank you, Lmao so hard right now picturing that XD
Wizardo 34
I can only imagine Maximus from Tangled in this situation, you shohld be honoured to be mugged by such awesomeness.
Angelface1692 5
I was hoping someone would mention Max :) he would def do that haha
whateverwillwork 14
OP, your apple shouldn't be your mane concern. Did you break anything?
frip_fml 9
Apples are part of a stable diet.