Today, my Apple Watch notified me that my long-term exposure to loud noises may be dangerous to my hearing. I’ve been crying since my SO left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at 6 a.m. I rolled over in bed causing my smartwatch to vibrate with an alert that it had detected a hard fall. Ten seconds after I dismissed the alert, I heard a voice from my watch with the dreaded words, "911, what's your emergency?" FML
Today, my smartwatch notified me that my heart rate spiked at the same time as my partner was getting me to listen to her favourite band's favorite song, and she took it as I sign that we must like the same music, and that we are so compatible. What she doesn't know is that I was checking my ex’s social media on the side. FML
Today, my smartwatch decided I needed a "stress level" alert during a perfectly calm meeting. It vibrated aggressively, and my boss suggested I take up yoga. FML
Today, I awoke to a series of almighty explosions in the middle of the night. Turns out I fell asleep with my AirPods in to a “Soothing rain” soundtrack, which had turned to “Storms and thunder” at some point. I pissed the bed. FML
Today, I finished taking a huge dump at the public restroom at the mall. When I got up to wipe, my wrist clipped my butt and knocked my brand new Apple Watch into the toilet. FML
Today, I bought noise-canceling headphones because my neighbors are loud. The first night I wore them, I completely missed the sound of my smoke alarm battery dying. Instead of hearing a faint beep every minute, I woke up to six missed calls from my roommate asking why I wasn't answering. FML
Today, my smartwatch notified me mid-meeting, saying “You’ve been inactive for an hour, get moving!” I stood up instinctively to “stretch,” only to trip over my chair and send my water bottle flying across the boardroom table. FML
Today, I walked into my office, rocking my new noise-canceling headphones. Turns out, they work so well that I didn’t hear my coworker trying to warn me about the wet floor. Now I’m the proud owner of a bruised hip and a security camera video making the rounds on our Slack channels. FML
Today, my hearing aids got wet because i was caught in the middle of a thunderstorm. So they stopped working. I didn’t hear this morning's alarm because I can’t hear the alarm without my hearing aids. FML
Today, I found out that my new, expensive noise-canceling headphones trigger my motion sickness. FML
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Top comments
cacheson 42
I’m trying to figure out how your crying is that loud...
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Comments (2)
cacheson 42
I’m trying to figure out how your crying is that loud...
Chazzster 32
That’s bad, and it hurts I am sure. But if you are crying so loud that your watch is concerned for your hearing you need to “man up” and move on. It’s healthy to mourn a loss. But it’s unhealthy to do so like a child who lost a toy they loved. Emotions can be controlled, now is the time to learn that.