Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML
Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML
Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
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Top comments
jessxoxo28 5
omg, wow., lol!!!! u must have been blown away with wat u saw
Caael 0
Hope you got sympathy sex
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Comments (167)
ily_hun996 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
first?
itsohsoabsurd 6
why don't you just write a proper comment instead of that first-crap? you'll still be first!
GrandeCarne 0
I feel like im in a graveyard or something... everyone is buried
Antivirus_fml 0
Welcome to the f*ckyard!
Kiwi_Splash 0
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
RoryStorm239 0
HEEEEY YA! *ftw*
Trevv 0
I'd do the same thing if my girlfriend did that to me. Course, she's the type to not even notice....
greatsarcazm 0
did it smell that bad?
Jojo08_fml 0
Ooooo #1 your cool?
Mordakai420 6
Oh, you're first? Please tell me how your comment is better than everyone else's.
dearViena 0
big deal?
i_wuz_nver_here 31
yeah cuz cracked open skulls are part of everyone's daily routine.
ily_hun996 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
sorry it's a big deal to me.... I've never been first :( and I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound obnoxious.... anyway to the OP that sucks XD I'm sorry!
deathbunny256 0
I don't get why people bury anyone who's first, even if they don't say first!!! Sorry on behalf of all the others, this hppened to me before. I for one understand how exciing it is to be first. :)
DeadMansCrack 4
So do I, except the FML where I was first was deleted. Life's unfair.
laleyla 0
I am really wondering how boring your life must be when being first is something that excites you that much... I mean, I already feel lame for wasting my time on fml. get a life!!!
allidspy911 1
Laleyla = meanie >:( you get a life. Don't judge...
Imawhalerider 0
You def still got some after. no problem here.
jessxoxo28 5
omg, wow., lol!!!! u must have been blown away with wat u saw
zach5432 3
maybe she queefed
isallwaysme 27
it looks like an ooold catchers mitt.
GrandeCarne 0
you're probably just mad cause you're stuck with the number 8 lol j/k #1 is totally a dork and we should all give him the thumbs down!
Caael 0
Hope you got sympathy sex
mobius8 0
Guilt sex. It's better.
ananamoose 0
scrubs... nice
TwistedFury25 4
More like sympathy head... o_O
DElor 0
why would you fall
feelingblue 0
hahahah this is more a fail than a fml:))
ily_hun996 0
will you guys stop being such jerks?! I'm sorry I was happy about something. I didn't mean to ruin your f"cked up lives. Sorry.