Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when my wife came in wearing a new lingerie set, smiling at me. I dropped what I was doing and carried her to bed. After we'd finished, she went downstairs for a drink, saw the dishes I hadn't cleaned, and started a fight. Now I'm on the couch. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
did you rock them motha fuckas?
MissMess 12
So, not a onesie fan?
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Comments (163)
MissMess 12
So, not a onesie fan?
wlddog 14
Someone got to sing the "doesn't matter had sex" song. Course, now you have to start using the trap door in the suit to go potty, but at least now you know what she likes. Most guys just have to guess over and over until they either give up or discover what she wants.
tygerarmy 35
How could anyone not be a onesie fan? They keep all your toesies on your feeties warm!
_DudeGuy_ 16
Yes, but so do socks, and you don't look like some kind of freaky man-baby wearing those.
Uhscanherdarklee 10
30 If it comes in the form of a pink bunny and you're forced to put it on and parade around the house in front of your family on Christmas while your little brother laughs hysterically.
Wimoweh 10
28, it's called "I just had sex" by the lonely island, not "the Doesn't matter had sex song."
fdupagain 11
They are not onsies. Onsies have no legs. They can be long sleeved or short sleeved and button at the crotch. These are as the OP stated... footed pajamas.
M3DIC4T3 29
I pictured Macklemore when I read this
EngageZoo5 8
I wonder where she was going with that one.
MissMess 12
Thank you for taking the time to explain that very important difference...
fdupagain 11
You're welcome. Honestly I don't see it taking away from your post, only adding to it. All due respect, I promise.
wlddog 14
Thank you 98 Guess I need to brush up on my sex song titles.
Shiny_nickels 14
The ultimate tease! I'm feeling sorry for you OP
NoDontKillMe 19
Maybe it's a fetish...?
citygirl28 11
There must be websites for people like this. Not that I've seen them *ahem*
rg350dx 29
A footsie fetish
EVnIAS 13
so number #35 I know you never visited those websites but what **** would you recommend? if you... you know... would actually like that stuff...
ElementaryEdGuy 18
Sorry OP. I think this is her way of asking for a baby.
feelingold 18
Stop hitting on citygirl #52. She's mine.
SerendipityRose 26
I agree, 2... & try to think of it this way: if you play out a few of her kinks, she might be more receptive to a few of yours.
AwkGirl 9
It is. It's called infantilism: a fetish where one of you pretends to be at baby or very young child (which could turn into a daddy/mommy kink) which can go as far as you want.
jezmonster7 7
Wow she sounds like a real snooze...
Blackcatluck 19
Why is she getting thumbed down? If perdix or doc said the exact same sentence they would get at least 50 thumbs ups right now, this system isn't really fair...
NoDontKillMe 19
^ That's why you gotta mess with the system, like I do. When my teachers at school tell me to write down notes and stop talking, I write down the notes, BUT I DON'T STOP TALKING. Awesome, right?
DocBastard 40
Except that I wouldn't have said that. I'm not sure why some people seem to think that perdix and I get 100 thumbs up on all our comments. We both have been buried countless times, believe me.
Wimoweh 10
Alright guys, thumb up Doc here, he's got a reputation to uphold. We need to reach a 100. We got this!
flockz 20
ya if you could just stop kissing doc's ass, that'd be great.
flockz 20
did you rock them motha fuckas?
hama806 19
He did I bet...as long as they weren't pink.
juwood 7
He most likely did. And then later at the club, as soon as he entered the establishment they stopped in that motha fucka.
rg350dx 29
Pissssssssssssssssssssss....
PinkieKeen 20
But shit it was 99 cents
whostolemylama 12
But did it smell like R-Kelly's sheets?
whyusofat 17
Ignore this didnt see 43's comment
armoso231 7
Did he advance into the establishment stating "hello there, I've got a large male reproductive organ?"
yryilmaz 13
I believe so.
TheRandomIndian 17
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
Randomness90 27
haha
yoursucklives 36
where did she get it? i've always wanted one of those :(
lonewolf621 17
Me too! Ive been wanting one for ages!
d4m4s74 12
If it still exists, try jumping jammer. It's what the weird celebrities use.
jamalamadingdong 18
They sell them at Walmart!
ironik69 31
Walmart or Kmart.
misterjez 15
Thrift shop
therealafroninga 10
If celebrities use them, I should to! (the Whitney Houston experience)
RpiesSPIES 27
To what?
SamCat 21
Target sells them also :)
lmngrl889 14
I am pretty sure Walmart sells them
aldwin_fml 7
thrift shop
whaleninjamaster 7
Modern sex is quite weird, if you ask me. Maybe it's her twist? But yeah, rock those things.
maosquare 18
Wait till you see postmodern sex.
Starcatch77 20
As apposed to "premodern" sex?
kemic 7
When in doubt, just go with it and see what happens.
meow_jess 11
Well , everyone has their fetish right ? >.
Ambient25 25
How did you let her dress you in them? Was she the man that night?
EVnIAS 13
Brian last night Lois was the man! I just want you to know I didn't... I DIDN'T CRY!
challan 19
Did she ask you to call her momma? Powder your bum?