Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
myoukei 31
Her: "I'll make you scream baby .... That was not what i intended"
Jowisee 29
Well that'll get her in the mood.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (82)
Jowisee 29
Well that'll get her in the mood.
pajamajeans 18
That's how you seduce 'em
myoukei 31
Her: "I'll make you scream baby .... That was not what i intended"
MandieL 27
I'm sorry OP that sounds horrible. I will admit I chuckled a little bit though :/ I hope your girlfriend was able to kiss it better ;)
hellnosucka 27
showing her your sensitive side already?
Badkarma4u 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Please turn in your man card.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Sorry to disappoint you, but him accidentally sitting on his own testicles is not a valid reason to confiscate his man card.
chuchusheep 19
actually what i got from this post is it seems like he's got some decent sized balls and that entitles him to his man card.
MrSassypants 34
That's idiotic that you think getting hurt in one of the most sensitive body parts, that can be easily hurt by literally anything, is reason to take away his man card. Also, I never got the phrase "turn in your man card." Is is a card that just says "man" on it? Does my driver's license count? Why would I have to turn in my license? If my driver's license doesn't count, do I have to pay a membership to receive one? I never got one. If I pay membership and decide to cancel, do I become a woman? And if I do, do I become a pretty woman? All these questions are important to me. TL;DR? Getting hit in the balls hurt, and bunch of rackety nonsense.
onlychildFTW 34
To sit on his own balls they must be pretty big low hangers. I'd say that's manly. Better then having small balls that are always high and never hang low.
ashqualls 9
I don't really understand the appeal of low hanging balls but maybe that's just me
dwkarate 8
you try sitting on your balls and see what you do.
Badkarma4u 17
Being a man, I can attest, sitting on your balls happens. Yes its uncomfortable, most men quickly adust their position move on and don't start crying. I guarantee it's happened in right in front of you and you had no idea. Its a common occurrence. We just don't talk about it.
Feklfekl2222 32
Well, if I was her I would be offering to kiss it better
pjsr 33
Marry me!
trellz17 19
I understand how you feel OP, I'd cry too. Testicular pain is one of the most painful things a man can feel.
Vintage_Cola 29
I think that IS the worst pain a man can feel. Luckily, I haven't had the misfortune to be involuntarily castrated. :P
lexos 16
#37 I had a motorcycle accident a few years ago in which I almost lost a part of my finger luckily the doctor managed to save it. The next day the had to remove the bandage to put on a clean one but the bandage was stuck on my dried up blood. If I had to choose to get kicked in the nuts or experience that again I would rather get kicked in the nuts.
BoxFullOfLazy 25
I don't get this. I've experienced my fair share of nut shots and never have I not been able to shrug it off and go on with what I'm doing. Either I'm manly as **** with a high pain tolerance, or everyone who complains about it is a wimp.
UH60 26
lol wow
H4IL2TH3V 8
your name says it all... your too lazy to do anything that could involve them being hurt! lol teasing you of course
nonsensical 26
#9 Or maybe your balls are just really small.
Badkarma4u 17
Its a mind thing, some people have convinced themseves getting hit in the groin is the be all and and all of pain. Yes it hurts, but they exagerate the effect in TV and movies. .
yukahnn 10
for me its not bad but the after pain is what sucks it feels like a hardcore throbbing
brycemash 9
Is anyone wondering how the hell do you sit on your balls? Never has happened to me...
christge1beast 17
It does happen on occasion and I have no explanation, but I have experienced it. A few times too.
chuchusheep 19
answer: big balls. lol.
Keladrylady 24
Naw, doesn't have to have big balls, the sack just has to be relaxed or loose. And some guys just have long sacks and normal sized testicles. So they're likely to accidentally sit on their sack from time to time also.
dwkarate 8
need to bring gender into it?