Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
Today, my father-in-law shat himself in my bathroom and tried to flush some of the evidence down my sink. Sink that I'd just cleaned up. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML
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Top comments
amiebran 3
Shit in his
ChickenLegs937 6
What's wrong with his bathroom?
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Comments (176)
amiebran 3
Shit in his
CattyPurry 0
there is no such thing as a perfect crime. although if he sprayed some Febreeze after he was finished, that could have thrown you off. >:D
OWNZ 0
Put some ketchup packets under the toilet seat and give him a squishy!
eminemchick 19
at least he doesnt go out and start killing ppl at 3 am
Turner_22 0
....bed?
Noob30 0
Confront him in the bathroom at 3:00, or wait in there until 3:00.
yoursucklives 36
shit in his pillow
fanceh 10
stay up one night and occupy the toilet and make him wait. or take a explosive shit right before he goes in. :D
iluvboobies 9
moondumping
iLOLatURpain69 7
17- ITS 3AM in the morning. And also OP, tell you dad that 'I'll shit on you'
eminemchick 19
40- not just him, his house, his spouse, his rings, his things..;)lmao
hillary6 15
Thats actually a good idea stay in the batgroom until 3am and then confront him
Eggers 2
19- Uh... no.
juicedboi 7
poor guys just sleepshitting. it's a common problem and needs to be treated with caring attitudes. This also explains his lack of memory on the matter.
weewee1 0
film him.
2ndSucks 15
Thats sick.
otb113 7
isn't that what shitters are for?
ImaSoxFan 0
explosive eh?
brettlovesgirls 4
i agree 45.. i agree all the way.
brettlovesgirls 4
oh yeah, and shit happens.
xPOPTARTx 0
.
xPOPTARTx 0
.
Pixxio_O 11
Saran wrap, problem solved ;)
ihasbrains 10
Take a video of him taking a shit and confront him about it again. When he denies it, there's your evidence.
iceildor 6
Put ceran wrap over the doorway the seat and sink to teach him a big lesson
shaubygal 11
here's an idea. Lock. The. Door. it's clearly unheard-of among most but it is very affective or spray his with the hose/ silly string while he's on the shitter
ChibiChibi_fml 28
So you want them to lock the door and make things harder on themselves should they need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night?
fugachumi 0
Trust me he gets pissed at me
Hugh_Spreadum 4
Why do you give a shit that he takes a shit there and at that time? Is it a conflict with your 3am shit rituals?
Redhead99 16
I'm not sure that will stop him, guys are gross.
Crlnprz 11
Lol, do something with the toilet so that when he flushes it the water will burst out the toilet xD i guess you can say explode
Ellifish 2
Clingfilm over the toilet...
MrPositive 0
Put plastic wrap over it
Eggers 2
Put Glad Cling Wrap over it
Crlnprz 11
okay people I got it the first time
Dispute 3
SSDD. same shit different day
whisperingeye13 0
hey I have a fresh new idea! try putting cling wrap on the toilet! it's revolutionary!
TruthBeTold36 3
You killed it.
ChickenLegs937 6
What's wrong with his bathroom?
nahgemsoohc 0
OP ***** in it.
Dexasaurus 0
Have you ever taken a shit in someones bathroom? It's so exhilarating.
landonlasater 3
Except taking a shit at any new significant others house, that ***** scary
drewpeacock42 1
put seran wrap over the toilet bowl so when he ***** it squishes back on his ass
NoodleBurger 0
who cares if he takes a shit in your bathroom at 3AM, you should be asleep.
ShyAnn29 15
Well maybe he doesn't flush, or he has such awful gas that it still smells when OP wakes up
m0tl3ycru3 0
That's likely how the OP found out
OWNZ 0
Well that stinks!
Eggers 2
sounds like a *puts on shades* shitty situation.
flockz 20
sounds like a *puts on sunglasses* ******* thread with so many overused dick sucking puns that i might have to spear my own heart with a dull knife while i light my pubes on fire and spit on your grandmother just so i don't have to listen to this bullshit.
HouTexans23 0
69- was that supposed to be funny?
Glitterhinoceros 14
72- Was that suppose to be insulting? Because I found it pretty funny.
flockz 20
i lawled when he informed me i was number 69.
KiddNYC1O 22
Funny or not, he speaks the truth.
sxe_beast 11
You guys could not read the comments... No one is forcing you to read the torturous puns.
Eggers 2
calm your **** 69, I said it because it's abused. no one actually thinks it's clever. it's like giggling at the number 69. oops, asshole hypocrite alert
kbt13 0
she said ****, then she said 69..tee hee
supimnyancat 9
He's full of shit.
bigbadtim 7
At least until he takes his dump.
thepagal 3
**** you
grovervac3000 15
LOL! Quite literally!!!
heartbrakej 0
he's just warming it up for you, how nice of him!
xXSKYLARXx 0
I wonder how u found out
Noob30 0
Here's a hint: 1:00 - ... 2:00 - ... 3:00 - "HRRRGGGNN" 3:15 -
ChickenInMyKitch 4
don't forget that unmistakable "plop" sound....
xXSKYLARXx 0
Haha how long did you think it took him to find this out XD
Glitterhinoceros 14
Return the favor
genesisnirvana 11
I'm waiting for the first person to say "That's a shitty situation."
olpally 33
U just did..
cholbrook748 1
You should wake up at 3:00 and take a monumental dump in his slipper. Then deny it. Problem solved.