Today, after my girlfriend continuously whined for hours about a specific burger place, I finally gave in and we drove nearly two hours to get there. Once in line, she looked at the menu, then decided everything had too many calories and wanted to go home. She doesn’t get why I’m pissed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend is mentally unhinged. She had a full on temper tantrum and ranted about healthy eating, and how she’s “fat” and needs to lose 30 pounds, all because I suggested Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. She stormed out of the house. I later ran into her at a local pizza place, devouring a pizza. FML
Today, my wife insisted on getting burgers at like 11:58, two minutes before the place closed, which was a dick move. As she’s placing her order, I clearly heard the guy in the back going, “For fuck's sake…” as he restarted the grill. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he spit in her fries, honestly. FML
Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonald's everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonald's. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if maybe she wanted to actually leave the house for date night. All I got was, “Why? We have takeaway menus.” When I insisted we leave the house for once, she got suspicious, like I was trying to hide something bad. She’s not talking to me until I admit what I did. FML
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Top comments
AmbrosiaFan 19
I would have ordered, sat down, ate, etc. I'd point out it took hours to get to this place and I'll be damned if I wasted my time because someone changed her mind.
tounces7 28
You still have to drive another 2 hours to get home.
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Comments (13)
AmbrosiaFan 19
I would have ordered, sat down, ate, etc. I'd point out it took hours to get to this place and I'll be damned if I wasted my time because someone changed her mind.
RichardPencil 32
I don't either. She's sacrificing her favorite burger so she can watch her figure for you. Why aren't you proposing to such a saint?
bloopaloop 27
Does this happen every month?
ahabsfan 17
Ask her to dress up like Snow White so you can photograph the moment you kiss and wake her up.
RichardPencil 32
It'd be better if she insisted on her favorite hot dog place.
bkwusa 15
Most likely after 2 hours the craving for it went away, when she saw the calories the cravings turned to disgust. You have already driven 2 hours, why be mad if she doesn't eat anything? It would still have been a sweet gesture, which you turned negative by getting upset about it.
tounces7 28
You still have to drive another 2 hours to get home.
JasonThorn 23
If the craving went away, she shoulda said something. Maybe starting the explanation with "I DROVE FOUR HOURS for your craving and you wasted our time"?
mahansm 8
Shit test. You failed. She got you to do something that you didn't want to do to try to please her. If you're hungry, stop somewhere and eat. If she doesn't want to eat, tough. You: Where do you want to eat? Her: I don't care. You: (mistake) How about ...? Her: No, (generic bullshit reason) (repeat until you guess where she actually wants to go) You: Where do you want to eat? Her: I don't care. You: (correct) Pull in to where you want to eat. Her: (generic objection) You: You said you didn't care. They have food here; I'm eating here. I'll drop you off at your house when I'm done and you can go anywhere you like.
tounces7 28
Pick someone who isn't high maintenance next time.
mas12806 24
She couldn’t go by herself?
Mathalamus 25
Understandable. Two hours is plenty long enough for ravings you go away.
westoz 24
The lesson, always google the menu of a new place you’re gonna try.