Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's house. I had a shower while he went downstairs. As I went to say goodbye to him, his mother muttered, "Slut" while pouring him orange juice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I fell asleep at my boyfriend’s house and missed my curfew. It’s almost 4 a.m. Scrambling, I arrived home to find the locks changed. On the door knob was a note: “Go live with your boyfriend, you slut. See if he cooks and cleans up after you. I’ll help you move out your stuff in the morning. - Mom” FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, I woke up in my boyfriend's dorm and decided to take a shower before he woke up. I used the girls bathroom on the above floor, and afterwards just threw on a towel and ran to the elevator. I forgot to press my boyfriend's floor and I was taken to the lobby in a towel. People were waiting. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
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Top comments
cydvicious 0
sounds like you woke up at your boyfriend's MOTHER'S house. I will never understand that!!
khaya 9
Imagine what she muttered while making toast.
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Comments (89)
soccerchick_1994 8
well obviously she doesnt like you... fyl
iZDa 0
well nobody likes u
iZDa 0
well obviosly nobody likes u
yohooooooo 5
well obviously we have uhh mothers who hate their sons boyfriends... screw it at least I tried-_-
iZDa 0
-.- fail
scottishandrew1 0
super fail
Snodes 0
what if she has tourettes syndrome
thisguy22 33
people with tourettes don't really swear...
MissBunny25 0
you should have said thank you! she gave you a compliment, you ungrateful bastard.
bloobelly 0
24, your picture is pure EPICNESS!
manbearpig123456 0
actually 53 people with tourettes do swear.
HollyoaksFan93 9
Mega Fail xD
SaintkushMatt 0
ahaha that's great.
SaintkushMatt 0
ahaha that's great.
Gen2105 0
24's picture actually scares me a little... :/
Cupcaken 0
10% does.
Lunaa94 6
Screw her. She's just jealous :)
ImaWiseGuy 5
haha, jealous of the fact that the op's ******* her son?
cyanidesandwich 21
lol WIN!!!
aussie_gemini 5
why is it when ever anyone says anything nasty these days they must be jealous? can't she just dislike her and believe she's a ****?
TheRealLori 0
Then she needs to shut up and learn her place, or move out and get her own life. Either way, op should have seen it coming.
MissBunny25 0
48, Boners is kidding, you know that, right?
khaya 9
Maybe it's not his mother but a woman he has bought to do chores. Women are pretty cheap these days, at the moment I am waiting for my order. (so excited)
Wuuper 0
Not cool
muchagente 5
she didn't say they ******. this reply was written to no 8
cydvicious 0
sounds like you woke up at your boyfriend's MOTHER'S house. I will never understand that!!
lidemocr 0
no shit!
thepersonyouknow 9
shes just mad bcuz ur dating her son
ceddyz17 10
*as
yake12 0
I think it was "I enjoy cheese"
ceddyz17 10
sad long as you love him your all good
Pokeemon 3
pokemon
ceddyz17 10
gotta catch em all
jcowsert2 5
nintendo store in NYC? haha I have the exact same pic wit pikachu haha
abceasyas123abc 12
Aww
ceddyz17 10
hell yes #64
khaya 9
Imagine what she muttered while making toast.
ComTlancy 12
"marmalade"
lidemocr 0
nice :)
glass_half_fool 0
why would us "failure to launch" guys want to leave our safe houses to go out to a world of assuming, stuck up, bitches as yourself? Miss "I'm hot shit" because I moved out like every other grown adult.. I'm 20, working, and going to school does that make me a waste? No I'm saving money so not to struggle
Aoifexzx 3
whoreme- oh sorry I mean WHOLEmeal bread or White?
jewknowit710 2
or you could put your big boy pants on and get an appt. struggle is what makes us strong, not stability your the same guy who hasn't been in a fight so ur afraid of confrontation. I can say it cause I was that guy till senior year of high school
lmaoatall 6
and that's when you said... yes, he sure is. he went all speedy Gonzalez on my pink taco!!!
cyanidesandwich 21
haha WIN!!
CarleeBugg123 5
Well you must be her favorite! Can't wait to see how well y'all "bond" together! xD
mariazzz 5
oh that's nasty...So what does she really think of you? lol
warpig182 0
That she's a ****. Dipshit