Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said it's like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
YoStephy123 0
Kinky.
aback 5
So dress up like a cop. ...on second thought, an "under the bed" doughnut would be a dealbreaker, anyway.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (297)
wikifoo 0
was his name Duncan ?
theshinepolice 0
for some reason all this cheesy donut wordplay gets me :] haha this was another one
UnluckyJulie 13
Hahaha! Thank you esb--this is the funniest thing I've read all week!
ayemami 0
that would have been ok if it wasnt from under his bed. :/
BWC1234 0
LOL thats hilarius 62
plexico 4
DOUBLE STUFF!
Intoxicunt 6
Lol. I think Plexico owns the internet.
shellybean87 0
That is soo freaking hilarious!!!
happy_me 0
WHAT THE CRAP
YouDontFuckWith 0
YDI for being a donuts hater. YOU DONT **** WITH DONUTS!
Sudbey 0
Apparently this guy does.
Sunsh1ne 0
#75 FTW.
notanazi 0
ahahahahahahahahaha that was amazing, 75. made my day.
intrepid00 0
"Feeders". Run the hell away. He just wants to make fat so he can play with your folds. Unless you are in a marching band you don't need to practice your "rolls".
loveurlifeJK 5
thats sexually appealing
Intoxicunt 6
#73 you are gorgeous!!!!!!! Haha, sorry.