Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML
Today, half of my office urged me to file a complaint against a coworker for aggressive behaviour, so I did. Less than 24 hours later, HR gave him a real dressing down and the whole office turned against me for ratting on him to management. FML
Today, I confronted my coworker, who I had a crush on, for lying to me. He’d told me he was gay when I asked him out. He’s now dating another coworker of mine who’s a woman. He took this up with my boss, and I was written up for “creating a hostile work environment.” FML
Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
Today, I tried to quit my job. My boss pulled me into his office and gave me a write-up for quitting, told me that he knows where I live, and that I'd better be at work tomorrow or he's going to come and drag me into work. FML
Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship, after he told me he loved me. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
You're stupid enough to try and blackmail your boss for more money? You definitely deserve it.
notesz 21
Read the word "blackmail", instant YDI.
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Comments (128)
sprints54 19
Play stupid games win stupid prizes
sirrubberduckie 37
"Today, I tried to blackmail-" YDI!!! "I didn't even get to finish my-" YDI!!! "If you would just let me expl-" YDI YDI YDI!!!
thatcoolguy123 14
"I tried to blackmail-- YDI
toxicLover28 19
How hard were you working
darkspartan 19
Wow YDI
jude_iscariot 7
You deserve it for not minding your own business.
jawarston 24
At what point did let's blackmail my boss come into your head. You deserve to get fired
LittleRed79 39
Not worth the severance they'd have to pay OP! If I were his boss I'd have so much fun making the work environment so uncomfortable he had no choice but to quit. Completely brought it on himself!
Zebediabolical 45
I don't really think there would be a severance package behind this kind of firing.
gordjess1 19
Sounds like a real ******** move right there buddy. You definitely deserved it.
bubona 5
hrm. If I was him. I would have taken your ass to HR and fired you on the spot for blackmail.
Knightchaser27 25
Yeah I don't know how OP still has a job
Charles900 16
Yeah, I can't imagine why your boss would be unhappy with you for trying to blackmail him. YDI.