Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML
Today, half of my office urged me to file a complaint against a coworker for aggressive behaviour, so I did. Less than 24 hours later, HR gave him a real dressing down and the whole office turned against me for ratting on him to management. FML
Today, I confronted my coworker, who I had a crush on, for lying to me. He’d told me he was gay when I asked him out. He’s now dating another coworker of mine who’s a woman. He took this up with my boss, and I was written up for “creating a hostile work environment.” FML
Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
Today, I tried to quit my job. My boss pulled me into his office and gave me a write-up for quitting, told me that he knows where I live, and that I'd better be at work tomorrow or he's going to come and drag me into work. FML
Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship, after he told me he loved me. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
You're stupid enough to try and blackmail your boss for more money? You definitely deserve it.
notesz 21
Read the word "blackmail", instant YDI.
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Comments (128)
blufishie 17
Mayhapse you shouldn't stick your nose in other peoples business
Attacksloth 33
... and you think that by blackmailing your superior, that you wouldn't be creating "the most hostile work environment ever?" If your boss is a jerk, fine, but report him for stuff he did wrong. If you're resorting to blackmailing him because of romantic preference, do you have actual dirt on him, or is this just some personal vendetta? YDI'd the hell out of you.
lifeof_toad 19
I can't say I feel sorry for you. As much as you hate your boss, there's something called working for your raise/money.
Weiss_Schnee 14
Good idea but you should of dug up some more dirt and found out more about his relationship status. Also should of read up on HR guidelines. So YLS and YDI.
sinn3r76 9
next time you might try to mind your own business or join in
exuberant_orange 17
Life Tip: Blackmail never ends well. So don't ******* do it. Especially to the person who hands you your paychecks.
russfml 31
If you spent more time doing a good job and working hard instead of finding out who your boss is ******* maybe you would have a raise and not be in this situation OP. YDI YDI to clarify
ezrajab 22
Mind your own business op that's an instant YDI. Why would you even care? Do your job that's what your paid for not to try and break up office romances
nickaa827 13
Asshole. ydi for sure
dc2fresh 15
just stay out of people's business ydi