Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML
Today, half of my office urged me to file a complaint against a coworker for aggressive behaviour, so I did. Less than 24 hours later, HR gave him a real dressing down and the whole office turned against me for ratting on him to management. FML
Today, I confronted my coworker, who I had a crush on, for lying to me. He’d told me he was gay when I asked him out. He’s now dating another coworker of mine who’s a woman. He took this up with my boss, and I was written up for “creating a hostile work environment.” FML
Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
Today, I tried to quit my job. My boss pulled me into his office and gave me a write-up for quitting, told me that he knows where I live, and that I'd better be at work tomorrow or he's going to come and drag me into work. FML
Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship, after he told me he loved me. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
You're stupid enough to try and blackmail your boss for more money? You definitely deserve it.
notesz 21
Read the word "blackmail", instant YDI.
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Comments (128)
ronzi 15
I guess what goes around comes back around!
Kittyphysics 21
ydi. mind your own business. if you wanted a raise, instead of blackmail, you could have tried, oh i dunno, being a better employee.
PrimeRibYum 10
You're an idiot and you 100% deserve the sh*tty situation you put yourself in!
ADBurns 22
Never, Ever, try to blackmail someone for personal gain or even to get back at someone. That Karma law will surely get you.. It makes you worse than the person you are trying to black mail...
labaro19 17
If you're dumb enough to blackmail the person who could make or break you yeah you deserve it
teentee401 37
"Today, I tried to blackmail..." *slams finger on YDI button*
gintwinsmoore 20
that's ****** up but u deserved it, OP...next time mind ur biz!!!!
kaya_zion 12
I guess you could say, you SCREWED that up. idk man i think i'm pretty funny.
sirrubberduckie 37
You know how sometimes they disable comments for an FML? They should disable the YLS button for this one.
nightwalker707 8
you're the douchebag. Not your boss. dumb shit.. YDI