Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said, "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML
Today, while creeping on my boyfriend's ex-wife’s Facebook, I found out that he used to call her the same nicknames he now calls me. FML
Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
Today, I went out with my friend and her boyfriend. Not knowing him very well, I accidentally called him by her ex’s name. He took that as a sign she was still seeing the ex and dumped her on the spot. She’s now not speaking to me for ruining her life. I’m just bad with names. FML
Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML
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Top comments
ashiezorz 2
You're the dick who suggested 'Sausage Face'.
aback 5
Why give him the ammo? Just tell him, "Okay. You call me Pup, and I'll call you Dickless".
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Comments (76)
xenomorph 0
FYL for being called a name you hate. YDI for accepting a poor substitute.
ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0
hi pup
Acidpops 0
YDI for still hanging out with your ex.
mirage24_fml 0
Signed on to say the exact same thing. So I second the motion. YDI. Change your "friends."
icedrake523 2
Sounds like the episode of Seinfeld where George wants to be called T-Bone but ends up being called Coco....then Gammy.
perdix 31
Look here, Sausage Face, your ex just inadvertently became your marketing department. Any guy who hears that name is going to want to date you, especially here in Texas. Once they start talking to you about your love for sausage, you can talk about how you like sausage inserted into your sweet buns (and about your other nickname, Kolache Butt). You're going to have to beat 'em off with a stick!
tommy666 0
Texas sucks.
jw90 18
you know your face does kinda look like a sausage..
ActionManly 11
Just start calling him asshole.
suesblues 0
YDI for suggesting such a stupid lame nickname.
nica73 0
If he calls you "pup", call him "ass" -- they're both animals...