Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said, "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML
Today, while creeping on my boyfriend's ex-wife’s Facebook, I found out that he used to call her the same nicknames he now calls me. FML
Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
Today, I went out with my friend and her boyfriend. Not knowing him very well, I accidentally called him by her ex’s name. He took that as a sign she was still seeing the ex and dumped her on the spot. She’s now not speaking to me for ruining her life. I’m just bad with names. FML
Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ashiezorz 2
You're the dick who suggested 'Sausage Face'.
aback 5
Why give him the ammo? Just tell him, "Okay. You call me Pup, and I'll call you Dickless".
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
Le_Pecheur 0
Hah! that's just a lesson on the social dynamics of guys. Congratulations on your first step towards manhood.
schadenfreud 6
YDI for still associating with your ex
Brooklynxman 0
And I quote "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" I fail to see how you can think this isn't your fault. Now granted, people say ridiculous stuff like this all the time, but its your ex. Never, ever, and I mean it, never, put ideas in your ex's head. Its like slathering yourself in steak then jumping into a tank with a great white shark at feeding time.
DynamicDave 11
When I moderated this, it didn't say "ex." Weird. Anyway, I lmao'ed at "sausage face." how did you even come up with that?!
Thenisaiddd 0
thats not bad my besr friend calls me kinkers xD
jts2 3
Oh no! My friends have a sense of humor! My life suckssss!
Grangoire 0
You suggested it, you deserved it. YDI
AngelRaven89 0
pup is cute. why would you even suggest sausage face? that's just, well, stupid. YDI
fegd 0
Why do you hang out with your ex?
ThinkBeforeSpeak 0
There are many grammer mistakes in this post. To start off, "He decided to start calling me "pup." Theres is a needed comma after "me". Also, periods and commas in many places. Therefore, changing the "run-ons" to proper sentences. I suggest going back to 3rd grade English.
Kgirl2cute 6
If you're going to correct grammar, check first that it hasn't already been corrected. See the many responses of that nature closer to the top.