Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML
Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said, "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML
Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brewmaster at a beer company. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML
Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML
Today, my boss fired me because of my drinking problem. The reason he thinks I have a drinking problem? I was in a play he saw, in which I played a drunk person. I've been completely sober my whole life. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML
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Top comments
jsni2132 18
Hey, it's better than being called doperman.
JasonUMN 15
Who cares about the nickname. The real focus is that you took a positive step to change your life, and that's what's important here.
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Comments (32)
jsni2132 18
Hey, it's better than being called doperman.
Superstitious 6
Soberman sounds like a superhero who nobody parties with
SarcasticShade 16
It could be worse. He could be called groperman.
Jordan_OL 10
I think these are the types of nicknames that are cool until someone starts using them for you!
TheFlamingTiger 9
@51 That's actually pretty close to my last name. :(
SarcasticShade 16
I apologize
RLG4 20
Great nickname! Hopefully your boss will realize the truth soon!
Arrow44 10
Hahaha ya right?? I think it's awesome!
cakefete2 31
Tell your boss that you are sober, and that you'd willingly submit to a field sobriety test once the room stops spinning.
dingleberrysteve 6
tbf the boss is not far off
killmenow03 21
You have awesome friends.
meepmerp 20
Why would they hide wine in his boss's office?
Rainhawk94 27
And the entire fml while you're at it
kjack49044 18
Sic the doberman on your friends.
robd007 20
how did it get all the way to your boss?
shinymaster3000 23
I guess since op said everywhere I guess they called him that at his job too.
IworkAt711 14
He might even have friends at work that call him that.
FkTheWorld7 8
Why not explain it to him? He'll most likely understand
JasonUMN 15
Who cares about the nickname. The real focus is that you took a positive step to change your life, and that's what's important here.
eddeeezzyy 19
Exactly, and as long as OP keeps up the good work at his job, then he should definitely be fine.
IceMan11 23
Wouldn't your boss think you're a recovering alcoholic? Otherwise your nickname would be something like drunky.
Angelic_Author 16
Probably due to the logic used when calling a bald guy "curly" or a fat guy "slim."
Angelic_Author 16
I meant that it's probably not the case due to the logic used when calling a bald guy "curly" or a fat guy "slim," the boss probably thought it was like that.
bethers_ 22
Sounds like you need to rectify the situation before things brew over.
cakefete2 31
I see what you did there, keep those beer puns on tap.
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe rectumfying is why OP gave up alcohol.
Zebediabolical 45
Butt-chugging is rough on a body. I'll probably never ever ever ever do it again.
JAKASS200 5
how does your boss think you're an alcoholic if they call you SOBERman?
edanielleh 21
bc a lot of people who are going sober and get support for it are alcoholics. Example- my family has a party every month my uncle (who has a long record of alcohol abuse) stays sober.
DrippingSarcasm 20
I love that you have a party every month.
edanielleh 21
out of curiosity, why did you give up alcohol op?
perdix 31
Too many IFAP Awards.
Mauskau 36
Why wouldn't you? It can easily ruin your life and health.