Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML
Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I saw a creepy guy grab a woman's ass on the bus, so I caught his arm and put him in an arm lock, only for the woman to hit me in the head with her handbag. Turns out they were a married couple on their way home to have sex, and who couldn't resist a quick grope during the journey. FML
Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
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Top comments
pronounciations 5
Seems legit.
Zelion 0
I'm sure he meant it in the nicest way possible.
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Comments (199)
emvictoria 9
That's scary
auzzrage 1
rude, he's just not use to trying to pick up girls yet, he's getting there.
TheLastChild 8
Sounds like a keeper!
RussianFox 13
Creeper*
mrahhhhh 21
"His name is Chatta. Chatta Fucup."
auzzrage 1
I doubt it, that seems to be an unusual name
willn98 5
Friend Making 101:A dummy's Guide
SiriusBlack97 17
I would say my boyfriend is Justin Bieber
mrahhhhh 21
Buddy, half of that sentence is wrong. The person you're replying to is not a sir. The rest of the sentence, however, is spot on.
sierralovesyou 0
Haha you just made my day :) smooth man
crazyluvbug 8
You are seriously too cute! ^_--
crazyluvbug 8
Keevarou! Sorry I left that off.
DDpandaz 0
Time to bust out the pepper spray
Jamicianprince 1
Agreed
Shadow_Phantom 26
Seconded.
Wheredidgrungego 12
If that ain't love, then I don't know what love is.
lms0708 0
almost?
D3athT3ch 4
insted of saying u had a bf, u should hav said that u were a lesbian
BellaBelle_fml 23
You never know, that might just turn him on even more.
Bofferding_fml 6
1. Ask him details about the method he'd use to kill him and how he'd dispose of his body, 2. then tell him that's like an amateur would do it, and tell him a better way of doing it 3. ??? 4. If he looks amused, stand up and run Or 4. If he looks scared keep on talking and 5. Profit
BellaBelle_fml 23
1. Run away. 2. Keep running.
auzzrage 1
you have quite a large forehead
lilcheekycheeks 9
haha gotta love the way guys flatter girls with their pick up lines these days lol