Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML
Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML
Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
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Top comments
Chucks719 4
But did you say yes?
Lavelle1313 11
That blows
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Comments (86)
tbro47 23
I bet he waited for your reply with bated breath mon Cheri.
cinskeep43 15
glancing quickly threw the comments and misreading this as "man cherry"
Goblin182 27
If he didn't laugh, high 5 you, and return the favor you don't want to date him anyway.
granCanyon 12
lol it's not like he doesn't fart.
ssdd25 6
That a girl!!!
paperman84 7
Just tell him you released the butterflies.
RedPillSucks 33
More like "release the Kracken!!"
cjwayy 22
Oh my god this is one of my new favorite FMLs
Esoterity 6
Meanwhile, I have brain farts and forget what I'm saying while talking to girls. We're in the same boat, OP.
pharm121 21
I hope the guy didn't hold it against you OP and you still got to go on your date
RobotUnicorn1209 26
If I were him I'd say, "Did you just fart? 'Cause you blew me away!"
Mandybruin 15
Yes, perfect time for a cheesy pickup line. If he passed on the opportunity, he has no game.
lalaney 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I don't understand it when people can't control their farts, especially if they feel it coming. Practice tightening those sphinchter muscles, OP.
elcee1987 18
Well now we know what you're into..
GentlemanBastard 15
Depends how bad the gas is. If there's too much, it has to come out, or cause severe cramping. I'd rather rip one in front of a potential date than double over in extreme pain and have to explain that.
AloysiusWeasley 15
Pretty much. It's not very often that I don't find a moment to excuse myself. Too bad OP didn't accept, mention she had somewhere else to be, and tossed off a 'see you then!' before hurrying off for cover.