Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML
Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML
Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
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Top comments
Chucks719 4
But did you say yes?
Lavelle1313 11
That blows
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Comments (86)
Chucks719 4
But did you say yes?
slingerslasher 24
the butterflies spoke for themselves
BigLatchZatch 14
In her own special way... *pfft*
Algorithm 24
I hope she did. It'd definitely be a unique "how we met" story to tell their kids if they ended up together for the long haul.
kenyrabit 25
"But"...Hehe, no pun intended.
Lavelle1313 11
That blows
Tuffmuffin 10
Was that a pun?
Lavelle1313 11
Was it?
zdane 9
I guess we'll never know
MarshalR 11
No spoilers guys, we gotta solve this mystery on our own!
ob81 8
If he still takes you out, you have a keeper. Cheer up op.
flufee2 27
This is how you get closer to someone quick lol
RedPillSucks 33
Usually, farting drives them away
shay_serendipity 29
*blows them away
tammywalker45 7
Aww it's okay!! It's NATURAL! Happens all the time to me ;)
amisenho 11
You always fart when you meet a potential date? Or are you just saying that you fart all the time?
_parth 20
His trick still worked.
keifman7 17
But the big thing is, did he still want to go out with you?
zdane 9
Or maybe, u just ate a butterfly before he talked to u so u did actually had a butterfly in ur stomach...which eventually got digested and caused the bowel sickness.......
mageepaigeee44 15
Ugh.
cryssycakesx3 23
my sympathies for that seizure you just had, 8.
zdane 9
My sympathies with you for trying to be the sensible one on FML website... Maybe your compensating for being a blonde..
Corey122726 17
I wouldn't say seizure..... More along the lines of just talking out of his ass.
zdane 9
Wow, it's not like other comments are any better....
angeluv_2014 22
@31 I love when someone's picture matches their comment perfectly ^-^
okay33 12
That's toot-ally awful!
anormalperson 25
Same goes for your comment...
PenguinBitch 44
You didn't blew him away.
marcranger 29
Guess you really took his breath away, OP.