Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and, instead of talking to him, I burped, and he just walked away. FML
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML
Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
upsidedownn 8
You blew him away. :)
puppster391 16
Well that... stinks ;D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
puppster391 16
Well that... stinks ;D
herpderpherpderp 13
this pun can only be used on the first comment. I hate seeing the same shitty pun used over and over again in every stream of comments.
ladyangel52 11
Oh my goodness, OP's crush is posting that he was walking up to her and she farted! Or maybe it's just a troll.. who knows.. ( ._.)
friedpwnadge 25
I guess if he can still love her after that they'll have a very successful relationship.
upsidedownn 8
You blew him away. :)
CadillacPimpen 6
Love is in the air. :)
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Seems like you scent him the wrong message. Better luck next time I gas!
patrickalamo 48
Crop duster
isabelm1224 4
gassy butterflies haha
KociaQ 30
Wow. That made me laugh more then the FML posted :D
perdix 31
So, essentially, he crushed your colon and forced the gas out?
HelenLFC 27
:O Perdix was voted down ? Now I know the world's gonna end.
Snoopy0718 14
He's been down voted before...
grafeety 9
30 So that 2 hour long lecture my dad made me watch saying that the world wasn't going to end was wrong?
that_guy666 3
no guys the world can't end just let, my new gallon of milk expires on Christmas :). unless the milk survives -_-
Sanrio90 8
He's been voted down tons of times. He's not as funny as he thinks.
OldMemoriesFade 8
Everybody farts, if he thinks less of you because of it, he's shallow.
shayshayshazam 14
I don't fart.
OhDearBetrayal 25
Wouldn't it be so cheeky of her to say that instead of him making her knees go weak when she's around him she says that he makes her anal sphincter go weak instead.
OldMemoriesFade 8
Oh, how romantic "Baby, you make my Anal spincter go weak." What a great pickup line.
cloud175 6
If I was the guy, I wouldn't have minded. Because it's true, everybody farts. She'd probably blush afterward, then I'd giggle a bit. She'd smile, and I'd console her. But how? Would I let her know it's perfectly normal, or just keep my mouth shut about it and make small talk? Would talking about it make it awkward? Or would being forward about it completely negate all potential awkwardness? ....I suddenly want to marry this girl.
OldMemoriesFade 8
I didn't think farting would make you want to marry somebody, but hey...it would make a great story for their children and grandchildren.
sparklesvan 5
You could always squeeze your cheeks together and try to hold it in if all else fails. There's always a way to prevent farting in my opinion.
grafeety 9
4 What's next, girls poop too?
kingwess 8
And kids, this is how I met your mother
gc327072 31
"She had me at pppfffftttttt."
Geometric 18
Explosive excitement
gc327072 31
I guess you could say she couldn't contain herself.
brittanyrmh_ 12
Every teenage girls' worst nightmare... Farting in front of a crush.
tne201992 12
She farted!!! It's not like she took a shit on the floor, now that would be a worst nightmare.
OldMemoriesFade 8
Some people are into that..
OldMemoriesFade 8
Take two girls one cup for example, though they didn't really shit on the floor... But, they were into the whole "shit" concept.
brittanyrmh_ 12
21- Let's be honest... Even if he WAS into the whole "two girls one cup" thing, I doubt he'd want it reenacted in the middle of a supermarket.
grafeety 9
37: let's be honest, everything that shouldn't be done in public, is way more satisfying in public. I tried to think of an awesome example, all I came up with was sex. Wait that is awesome. Edit: I stand by my comment. But I feel pedophilish now that I looked at your display picture.
chrissy2 28
Maybe he didn't hear you?
BellaBelle_fml 23
But he smelt her…
nukeacat 9
What a stinky situation!
wellfuuucckme 7
Horrible
that_guy666 3
you don't say?
tne201992 12
It was probably your nerves, that trigger it! I get the same way, when I'm nervous or after I ate some Mexican food. lol
Rogersmoonshine 7
If you're lucky and he's a good genetic matchup for you, he'll have thought your odorous fumes smelled Amazing!
fsomelife 26
That is NOT how pheromones work.
AidenSurvival 7
OP: *farts* Crush: What a lovely perfume you have on today. Is it scent of shit?
Rogersmoonshine 7
Not talking about pheromones. Does nobody remember the fml when the girl walked into her boyfriends apartment behind him, smelled something delicious, and asked what he was cooking? He told her he farted.